date: mar. 19th 2023

status: currently reading

rating: - - - - -

blue lock

i had initially started reading this because i saw a lot of funny panels where the dialogue looked really silly, but i'm almost caught up now and i genuienly love this series. it's so very intense but the characters are all so loveable and crazy and i love all the portrayals of the different ways to love soccer. it's really fun. i'm probably misleading a few people by describing blue lock in such a wholesome way but it really is a sweet treat for me. my favorite players are shidou, rin, and isagi. and bachira too. but (more importantly) my favorite character dynamics are whatever rin and isagi & also shido and itoshi got going on. i just love it when it's the two characters that seem the most different that end up being the best matches for each other. it's also not that common i care so much about the main character but isagi i am rooting for you! you crazy little boy! いけ いけ いさぎ !

date: mar. 7th 2023

status: currently reading

rating: - - - - -

jujutsu kaisen

i used to be so normal about jjk since i first started watching the anime last year. but with the way this story has been developing i've gotten so obsessed with it? it's like a delayed reaction almost.. shibuya arc was absolutely devastating (#shibuyasurvivor), i read the whole thing in two days with my hand clutching my chest the whole time... can't think about it for too long or else i'll get nauseous. now i am caught up on the culling game arc where my biggest issue is getting attached to characters (higuruma.. kirara, hikari, kaori & jin, and now yorozu... my darlings) who either will never show up again or die a horrible brutal devastating tragic death... gege is a wicked man... worst of all is that my Favorite character in the entire series is kenjaku. who is sure to meet his demise sooner or later... pray 4 me and all the #kennyfansinternational... i wish gege would let my babies be happy..... meguyujibara NEED a happy ending or else... or else..... or else!!!! [explodes]!!!!!

date: may 5th 2023

status: completed

rating: ★ ★ ★ ★ ★

frankenstein by mary shelly

i just finished volume one of frankenstien, and will update when i finish the rest. i was not expecting to love this as much as i do, and i am so... so in love with this story! here's a ramble of my thoughts so far: while i've only gotten a small glimpse of Walton so far, i do love that he is very much head over heals for Victor the moment they met. they do have so much in common! especially in the way they both adore their sisters. i hope the next volume has more letters from him i would like to know more about what he's like. victor is my favorite! well to be quite honest they're all my favorites right now (walton victor elizabeth justine.. the parallels).

i'm not sure if it's meant to be funny but I did want to laugh over how quick and dramatic victor's shift was once he Created the creature. i found the "His limbs were in proportion, and I had selected his features as beautiful. Beautiful! Great God!" immediately followed by "A mummy again endued with animation could not be so hideous as that wretch." "...it became a thing such as even Dante could not have conceived" fucking hilarious. i do feel really bad for the creature like he didn't even do anything to be hated so much by his own Mother!!! speaking of. i am of the belief that Victor is a mother suffering from severe post-partum psychosis and depression. that's why he's like that. and says those things. i also really enjoyed his relationship with his Dear Friend Clerval i think they have something really special going on. there's this one excerpt is one of my favorites so far of the book:

but Clerval called forth the better feelings of my heart; he again taught me to love the aspect of nature, and the cheerful faces of children. Excellent friend! how sincerely you did love me, and endeavour to elevate my mind until it was on a level with your own. A selfish pursuit had cramped and narrowed me, until your gentleness and affection warmed and opened my senses;

i couldn't help but make the connection to satosugu [redacted]. i hope nothing bad happens to them... i say this because i feel like as long as Victor keeps his secret and lets his abandoned creation run off.. it seems more bad things will happen. Victor is kind of a wuss but i still like him ♡ my favorite queer irresponsible bastard.my last thoughts for now are that i think justine and elizabeth should have kissed before justine died (i love them) i really liked the "Thus the poor sufferer tried to comfort others and herself." and how those exact words were used to describe Elizabeth masking her own grief for the sake of keeping her family happy. they both just get each other so much. and don't get me started on Elizabeth's last words to her... truly a miserable world it would be without Justine...

volume 2 update: I've been speeding through this so fast (I'm just so into this) I forgot to take a moment after finishing volume 2 to write about it... so this will be a shorter entry than the first. until i get inspired and want to write more about it later.

Victor is really starting to piss me off! Stand up! He is being very woe is me right now, but I will say some of (all of, if we're being serious) these lines are just so beautiful. "Thus not the tenderness of friendship, nor the beauty of earth, nor of heaven, could redeem my soul from woe: the very accents of love were ineffectual." I really liked that one. It's especially interesting considering how Victor desperately tries to ease his soul and find crumbs of happiness when he's surrounded by nature, but even that won't work now. Victor reminds me of all the miserable whiny depressed narrators / main characters in some other things I've read (reminding me a lot of the unnamed narrator from Season of Migration to the North by Tayeb Salih right now). If he thinks he's miserable, wait til he hears the creature's lived experiences!

I was seriously almost brought to tears twice while reading the creature's story on the train it was so devastating. The creature is literally just a little guy. If Victor hadn't been such a bully and shown him kindness literally none of this would have happened but whatever man. #DontJudge. What I love is that the create has enough reasons right now to be truly evil and kill everyone but he's STILL giving Victor a chance to redeem all of humanity and give him a Frankenshorty. All he wants is companionship and Victor won't even give him that! Who is the real agent of evil and cruelty? I am going to be such a nerd about this and say this part of the creature's dialogue when he says:

'You are in the wrong,' replied the fiend; 'and, instead of threatening, I am content to reason with you. I am malicious because I am miserable. Am I not shunned and hated by all mankind? You, my creator, would tear me to pieces, and triumph; remember that, and tell me why I should pity man more than he pities me? You would not call it murder, if you could precipitate me into one of those ice-rifts, and destroy my frame, the work of your own hands.'

really reminded me of Meruem's dialogue with Netero in Hunter X Hunter... it was definitely inspired by this it had to have been. Maybe! I can't help but make connections like these. I personally believe Victor should suffer more! I am glad the stars and the heavens that once comforted him now mock him forever! I'll maybe come back with a more thoughtful analysis if I am feeling upto it, there is a lot to be said about responsibility, care, and community from this text, and I'm excited to read the last volume and see how this all ends.

volume 3 update / final thoughts: i'm keeping this one shorter because i am on the train and don't feel like writing a lot about this right now but. i loved this book so much. i already want to reread it. the Creature's last words really touched my heart i'm still in awe over how beautifully this was all written... "You hate me, but your abhorrence cannot equal that with which I regard myself"... "My spirit will sleep in peace, or if it thinks, it will not surely think thus. Farewell."... absolutely beautifully devastating. this is going on my Hall Of Fame of books, it's that good. I'm so glad i read this..

date: apr. 24th 2023

status: completed

rating: ★ ★ ★ ★ ★

the sucker by elle shivers

Wah! I am so glad I impulse bought this comic from one of my favorite artists. They draw a lot of fanart that I adore, so I was so psyched to see they have their own works published as well! The Sucker was such a beautiful read, beautifully, literarily, in all the ways. I loved the tense dynamic between the two main friends (EJ and Dani, I believe) the most. Getting those glimpses of their past when they swam together and seeing the way they sort of left off, only to reunite again with all those Complicated feelings about each other really touched me! My chest is full of feelings I can't really explain right now, I just know that it's a good thing. I am truly obsessed with this and I am so glad I got the opportunity to read such a tale. I totally recommend this to literally everyone (and you can click on the cover image to be directed to their site to buy the book)! ♡

date: apr. 20th 2023

status: completed

rating: ★ ★ ★ ★ ★

abbott elementary

i don't ever seek out a comedy show because i just don't find them that funny but abbott elementary is the exceptional exception. this show is hilarious! every single episode has me a-kekekeing and heheheing (ﾉ≧∀≦)ﾉ my favorite duo is barbara and melissa, but the character who makes me laugh the most is definitely ava. i love that it's in a school setting too, since i am thinking about becoming a teacher maybe... mimimimi. making as completed cause the first season is over, but I'm so excited to see what next season will bring. 5 trillion stars!

date: apr. 15th 2023

status: completed

rating: ★ ★ ★ ★ ☆

DARK

i love tv shows that function as if they are puzzles. DARK is so different from all the other time travel shows i've seen, and they play with the concept in such a unique way! it's a bit tragic but also perfect in a way. the writing is incredible, especially in the first two seasons and I truly appreciate how the ending of the series wraps up so nicely. because it's one of those shows where Everything Matters and all the details Mean Something i'm sure I missed a lot, but that's okay. This is a show that was made to be re-watched so I'm excited to do that later on. the casting for this show is actually insanely good. the directors must have sold their souls to find other actors who looked so much like each other to play their older/younger selves. it's really impressive. almost scary. the soundtrack is really great too, i've added Irgendwie Irgendwo Irgendwann by NENA to my own playlist. i will say that i enjoyed season 3 a lot less than i did the rest. i wouldn't say it's bad or lacking in quality compared to the first two seasons, i just personally couldn't get into the new World concept. i think the show was already so dense (I liked that) but this new layer was just too much for my little brain. but again, i don't think it was like worse than the others. the writing was just as good and the ending was also nice neat and fitting. i loved it. it just took me forever to get through the last season..

date: mar. 26th 2023

status: completed

i'm glad my mom died by jennette mccurdy

i read this entire book in one sitting yesterday. i read along with the audiobook CDs i got after seeing jennette speak at my school a few weeks ago. i usually don't enjoy reading memoirs (they bore me) but this is the exception to that. my God was it the most beautifully written work i've read in a while. i simply could not put it down. it was so immersive and emotional (i did tear up a little towards the end...) but also so funny at times. her story is so important and resonated with me in ways i didn't think it would. i honestly think Anyone no matter what books they like to read would enjoy this. so much love in my heart for jennette i am so happy for her and how far she's come. her experiences with the Healing proccess is something i hold dear to my heart. ah! just such a good book.

date: mar. 25th 2023

status: completed

rating: ★ ★ ★ ☆ ☆

thistlefoot by gennarose nethercott

i impulsively bought this book during my last trip to my local bookstore because i was very curious about this house with chicken legs... it took me a while to get through the book because the pacing was too slow for me to stay hooked for too long. i considered putting it on pause and reading something else for a bit, but i am really glad i didn't do that. i loved the story it had to tell! i am a big fan of stories about stories and generational tales and this book was very much that. plus it was the first time reading a story based in Jewish folklore and I really loved it. isaac was my favorite character, and his past with benji was very fun to read about. i love the way the ending was told.. i'm really attached to that house. overall, a good read. i think i would have got through it sooner if i could listen along to the audiobook, but i couldn't find it anywhere for free...

date: mar. 18th 2023

status: completed

rating: ★ ★ ★ ★ ☆

swarm

update (04-02-2023): a friend told me apparently it's not based on real events at all really and i was tricked by the internet again. which means i can give it a star rating heheee. i feel so silly but i'll keep up my insane little rant below because although my larger ideas might not apply to swarm anymore, i think i make good points in general. i feel strangely embarassed but also its okay because who cares

i think Swarm was beautifully crafted and the acting was incredible. however. the more i think and talk about this show the more i am bothered by this strange feeling i have about what this show actually is. it's hard to describe but it feels a little lost in it's purpose. watching the show, it really feels like it's a fiction thriller show (despite it saying "this is not fiction" in the beginning of every episode), but it's not. now, i don't know much about the actual events this show is based on, but i know it is based on both real life events and rumors, calling itself Not Fiction. this really bothers me. i worry about what it means to take real life events and portray them in a way that feels? fictional? hm. i feel like i'm not doing a great job of expressing what i mean. this just didn't feel as serious as it was, i feel, supposed to be. when reading this show as a non-fiction piece, it feels like another one of those serial killer documentary that glamorizes and makes a spectacle of real killers. which is not great. it also makes me feel weird as a viewer, enjoying what feels like a fun Fictional thriller, and then remembering that this is not fictional and real people were hurt by these events. this is the biggest issue i have with the show, and this exactly is also what makes its commentary on stan culture feel really shallow. now, if this was indeed fiction, i wouldn't mind the shallow commentary because this show doesn't feel like it was that serious to begin with. it's really artistic and beautiful and emotionally engaging and visually appealing, but i think it was missing the more serious undertones it needs. like, those serial killer documentaries are documentaries, so (despite those shows being terrible and incredibly harmful) at least you would know what you're going into before you start watching.

maybe i'm totally wrong and stupid about this. but i just think this kind of uncertainty? whatever the missing peice is here that's bugging me so much.. is really important to have and without it i feel like it can send weird messages to viewers who are struggling enough with media literacy today. idk man.... the implications are weird. i feel weird!

date: mar. 13th 2023

status: completed

rating: ★ ★ ★ ★ ★

the last of us (season 1)

after watching the entire first season what i have to say is: man this show is just so beautifully written. and amazingly produced. i think the scene in the season finale where joel is killing everyone in the hospital but the audio is muffled almost like you're putting your hands over your ears was so powerful to me. chefs kiss absolutely brillaint. that will stick with me forever. the worldbuilding is just so cool. i've been seeing side by side comparisons of the show and the game and i am so impressed by how true to the source material they are. i haven't played the games but i know many who have and they all have told me that even though they know what will happen they are still hooked and excited to see what each episode brings. i love joel ellie so much. best duo to ever duo.

date: mar. 11th 2023

status: completed

rating: ★ ★ ★ ★ ☆

every single scream movie

i have taken it upon myself to watch every single scream movie in a row, and i will compile my little Thoughts all into one post because having 6 boxes on SCREAM feels insane. plus i don't think i'll have much to say on each individual one. we'll see though.

(3/8/23) scream 1: loved it. too many breaking 4th wall jokes about Horror Movie Structure but the scene where that nerd guy was like "behind you!" and the freaks in the van were watching him and screaming "behind you!" was really funny.

(3/10/23) scream 2: i see that the fourth wall thing is a Bit now. i get it. it's fun i do enjoy it now a lot more. i started to get bored halfway though because i just don't care about dewey and Monica (who i know is not actually named monica). but then the end got exciting again. even though i wasn't a fan of the killers this time. felt like something was missing...

scream 3: what is sid's kill count at this point my god! they can't let her keep getting away with this!!!!

(3/11/23) scream 4: alright we're starting to pick up. better than 3, pretty good. i did get a little bored halfway through tho. again. i loved emma roberts though. i think i would have disliked this one a lot more without her performance. she carried!!!

scream 5: i think this one might be my favorite so far. i suddenly care more about dewey and monica now. i've started to love the movie structure monologues they do every time it makes me feel like i'm taking film 101. amber has been my favorite killer so far besides the originals i'd say. the fact that it's all in the same house is a detail i loved. ugh! everything was done so much better.

scream 6: an incredible movie!!! i'm so glad i got to see this one in theaters. i absolutely love the killers in this one, the acting was incredible and tbh i supported them! i'll be vague to avoid spoilers since this one is so new, but ahh!!! the twist?! so good. i totally didn't see you-know-who coming back. and then the thing!!! and then he made it!!!!! wow. haha. 5/5. my official ranking as of my Feelings right now are 1, 4+5 all tied for first. then its 4, 2, and then 3. what a great franchise. scream7 now!!!!!!!!!!

date: mar. 6th 2023

status: completed

rating: ★ ★ ★ ★ ☆

cardcaptor sakura

i love how adorable this show is. i did enjoy the first season a lot more than the second. especially towards the end with the yue Development and also just getting more growth out of sakura and li. i feel like the pacing was just more to my liking than it was in the second season. but!! i didn't dislike season 2 or anything, it's super cute and i am living for all the yukino and tomoya moments... (the best part of the entire series tbh) they mean so much to me (´｡• ω •｡`) ♡