date: sept 21 2023

status: completed

rating: ★ ★ ★ ★ ★

boy parts by eliza clark

this is for sure one of my favorite books i've read all year. such an addicting page-turner, i got through almost all of it in one day. irina is my favorite female lead main character. deeply flawed, mean, completely and utterly unreliable, yet also... horrifyingly relatable. and funny! i can't even bring myself to hate her. reading as she goes through the motions of repeating the cycles of violence in her own fucked up way was really enjoyable. i'm not sure how to explain it just yet, but the way clark writes makes me feel like i'm in her head. despite doing awful terrible things, it was really fun to see her desperate desire to feel real, through her breakdown. to be taken seriously. Do I have to smash a glass over the head of every single man I come into contact with, just so I leave a fucking mark?

and good God did i not see that big reveal coming. i'm not sure i want to fully spoil the Reveal, but i will say. my jaw was on the floor when irina (re?)discovers the old polaroid pictures with all the boy parts. this moment had so many striking similarities to how the big reveal in OMORI was done, so i appreciated this in so many different ways. ever since reading minor detail by adania shibli, i've been a huge fan of gothic elements in stories like these. the inability to tell what's real from what's imagined in irina's mind was so fun to read, and even better when i go back to reread, which i already plan to do very soon. i feel like now that i know the full story, rereading will let me notice so many more times where irina's sense of reality was destabilized. i am very excited to reread this beautiful work. very dark but very good.

date: sept 15 2023

status: completed

rating: ★ ★ ★ ☆ ☆

black foam by sawad hussain

i almost forgot to log this book on here, i guess you can tell it didn't really Leave A Mark. so i'll keep this short? no point in trying to pull a bunch of words outta my ass for this. the book was fine, i got through it pretty fast. the story was somewhat interesting? i do think it was really cool that i got an advanced copy for free though (thanks arab lit mag!). my favorite part was when dawoud's interview with the evil white man turned into a 1001 nights trope. but i just didn't personally connect with a story or the characters all that much. for most of the time i spent reading the book, i just kept thinking about how season of migration to the north was better. but like... i didn't hate it.

date: sept 2nd 2023

status: completed

rating: ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆

the fly 2 (1989)

i was so excited to see where this sequel to go and i was so disappointed! this movie sucked! they took everything that was good and cool and charming about the first one and just..... fully ignored it. didn't use what made the last movie so good. it didn't feel like as much of a body horror film as the first one did? it felt like a regular horror movie. the horror felt less personal, in a way. i felt no connection to martin, at all. which is really the only person i could have possibly feel connected to given how awfully written every other character in this movie was. and the gore wasn't even that interesting. it wasn't... horrifying! like i'd expected it to be. thumbs down from me on this one.

date: sept 2nd 2023

status: completed

rating: ★ ★ ★ ★ ★

bottoms

after seeing some clips on my twitter feed, i sort of knew i would really like this movie. it felt like the perfect mixture of campy high school silliness that would appeal to me. and i ended up loving it so much more than i expected! the cast is hilarious, i've seen clips of ayo edebiri and rachel sennott being besties off set and it was so fun to see them as best friends in the movie as well. you could tell. their friendship is really cute. i laughed so much during the movie i cried a little bit (i'm a crying laugher? laughing crier? whatever). every time someone would mention making a bomb i thought it was just a gag, but they actually did it. every time. it was great. the last thing i expected were for people to die in this movie. brilliant twist. honestly, a perfect movie. more or less. i plan to see this movie in theaters again and also own it in DVD. i hope the physical copy comes with a blooper reel. i know the blooper reel must be so funny.

date: sept 1st 2023

status: completed

rating: ★ ★ ★ ★ ★

the fly (1986)

what a fantastic movie! wowie! i really had fun watching this. i didn't expect early stage brundlefly to be so funny about turning into a bug. he was absolutely hilarious despite also being so miserable about it all. because he really was so miserable about it all. it's quite heartbreaking if you think about it, actually. my favorite line was when he said "i am an insect, who dreamed he was a man and loved it. but now the dream is over, and the insect is awake." lots of queer gender thoughts to be had about this movie. the movie strangely does a great job at articulating how it can feel to hate the way your body is developing. it's interesting to watch Brundle struggle with living in a body he doesn't want. the guy kept his penis in a jar in his medicine cabinet for... historical purposes. for christ's sake! i would have really liked to see Brundle rub his hands together like a fly, though. i also thought brundlefly's final evolution was strangely cute. i would have kept him as a pet if it were up to me. it's the eyes! they made him adorable...

date: aug 26th 2023

status: completed

rating: ★ ★ ★ ★ ☆

little nightmares (1)

i went into this game completely blind, so i really didn't know what to expect. i had such a fun time exploring the environments, i really loved how cartoonishly tall all the furniture and rooms are in the house areas, and how my character has to move stuff around to reach high doorknobs and things like that. it had a really child-like perspective to it but that didn't take away from the eeriness of the experience, either. i hope that makes sense, the feeling is hard to describe. i am a huge fan of the grotesque monsters we meet in this game, especially the janitor guy with the wicked long arms and the twin chefs! i found them so adorable i really wish they had plushies out of these guys that i could buy.. i am surprised at how short the game is, i finished it in around four hours. i might try to go back later and see if i missed anything, but it seemed to me that it's just a short game. i also wish there was more of a story, but that's just because i love stories. i plan on playing the second game soon, though. i can't wait to see where this series takes me.

date: aug. 23rd 2023

status: currently reading & watching

rating: - - - - -

jujutsu kaisen

i find it very amusing that my media log entry for one of my most favorite animanga series is so lame.. well good thing i have a shrine dedicated to jujutsu kaisen to make up for this sorry entry...

august update: i'm coming back to this entry after watching gojo's past arc animated in season 2. i think the animators did a beautiful job. it was so refreshing to see gojo and geto's childhood memories in such bright colors. gojo really remembered his youth fondly. it's really telling given his belief that youth should never be taken away from children... despite reading and rereading this arc in the manga so many times, watching it felt like an entirely new experience. the music was funky but really good. i thought it was really intentionally composed. the detail i'm currently latching onto is the scene where nanami throws a stool across the room when he gets news of haibara's death. it was so jarring to see teen nanami, who seems so composed, display such raw emotion. it was so heartbreaking to see nanami's own anger with jujutsu society, when he mentions the mission wasn't meant for a sorcerer at his level.. they were only kids, after all.. this scene always reminds me of the tidbit we got from the official fanbook, where it says that nanami doesn't blame geto for becoming a curse user. nanami was angry too. it's why he left.

this story is so tragic. in the most beautiful way. i love being reminded of words and memories of the past as the story develops. like how yorozu's words seem to live on and get repeated during gojo's fight with sukuna. like how gojo's present day morals and goals are exactly what geto's were when they first met, as kids. gege seems to like doing this too, so i'm glad we're on the same page. watching the anime made me very emotional about this again. i can't wait to see where this story goes after this...

march entry: i used to be so normal about jjk since i first started watching the anime last year. but with the way this story has been developing i've gotten so obsessed with it? it's like a delayed reaction almost.. shibuya arc was absolutely devastating (#shibuyasurvivor), i read the whole thing in two days with my hand clutching my chest the whole time... can't think about it for too long or else i'll get nauseous. now i am caught up on the culling game arc where my biggest issue is getting attached to characters (higuruma.. kirara, hikari, kaori & jin, and now yorozu... my darlings) who either will never show up again or die a horrible brutal devastating tragic death... gege is a wicked man... worst of all is that my Favorite character in the entire series is kenjaku. who is sure to meet his demise sooner or later... pray 4 me and all the #kennyfansinternational... i wish gege would let my babies be happy..... meguyujibara NEED a happy ending or else... or else..... or else!!!! [explodes]!!!!!

date: aug 22nd 2023

status: completed

rating: ★ ★ ★ ★ ☆

20th century girl

i went into this movie having no idea what to expect. at first i really hated the love triangle trope because seeing their dynamic together made me want them all to be best friends. they were all really cute with each other. but i eventually got over it. i'm giving this a high rating because this movie did such a good job at... appealing to Emotions. i don't really know a better way to describe it, so forgive me. but the end of this movie had me sobbing like a baby, which i really was not expecting. that final scene at the end where we see the videotapes our main guy recorded of his time in korea pushed me over the edge. i hadn't cried like that in so long. i think that scene alone was so good it Made the movie for me. besides that, i was a little disappointed about how they handled the love interest death. we don't even know how he died! so, i would have rated this movie lower if it wasn't that final scene. it was just so perfect and Raw it boosted the movie so much for me. still glad i watched it.

date: aug 21st 2023

status: completed

rating: ★ ★ ★ ☆ ☆

the scum villain's self-saving system (1) by mo xiang tong xiu

i brought this with me on my trip to morocco as my Official Summer Read but i didn't have much time to read while i was over there. overall i'd say this book was Alright. the writing felt cheesy at times and for a while in the middle i was starting to get bored of it. however, i do really like how this volume ended, so i'm not fully giving up hope. i really want to see how luo binghe's development diverges from his "fate" and all... i have a feeling it will get better from here. i plan on reading something else before picking up the second volume of this series, though. so, not too bad. but not too good either.

date: aug 19th 2023

status: completed

rating: ★ ★ ★ ★ ★

the handmaiden (extended version)

knowing how to start this entry is so hard because WOW. i really loved the handmaiden. i watched the extended version without realizing it and i think that was the best decision i've ever made because i truly lost myself in this movie, if that makes any sense. from the beginning i fell in love with the cool cinematography. i loved how they knew exactly when to linger on a specific shot. it made me feel like i was living those moments too. the viewer almost seemed like a curious onlooker for a lot of it, which i thought was cool. one moment in particular that stood out to me so much was when sookee, hideko, and the fujiwara imposter were running off so hideko and fujiwara could get married, and on the way they showed hideko eating one grain of rice at a time. followed by them walking up the steps to the designated place and hideko is behind them all, climbing one step at a time. i read that as hideko wanting to postpone or stall this marriage as much as possible as a Show of how much she did not want to marry this man. i just thought portraying those feelings in that way was so beautiful. one of the coolest moments in the movie, in my opinion.

speaking of the fujiwara imposter, my feelings for him dramatically flip flopped after the plot twist where we learn that him and hideko had actually established a business-y relationship/agreement between themselves. i loved that he had no power in any of the relationships he was in, and i will never forget his Final Scene. i still think he's a shitty guy, but i will always be amused by him asking for cigs mid-torture session and smoking mercury to get out of his sticky situation.

i loved the switching back and forth between korean and japanese, and i think it says a lot about language as a form of intimacy. specifically in regards to how hideko and sookee communicated with each other versus how they each spoke to other people. it was beautifully reflective of not only class but also relationship dynamics too. i wish i had learned more about japanese korean history before watching this (beyond surface level information), i would have liked to see how that was incorporated into the film (as i'm sure it was, it just would have went over my head)...

my only ick was that the last sex scene felt like it was written by a man who has never spoken to a lesbian in real life. the other ones were great, though. but this wasn't worth taking a star off. the scissoring was just, like, whatever.

overall i am so happy with this movie and the way the story was told. i seriously didn't think my girls would have a happy ending! but they did! too many years of consuming toxic doomed yaoi had dimmed my hope for happy endings. but yuri always saves the day. god bless.

date: aug 17th 2023

status: completed

rating: ★ ★ ☆ ☆ ☆

trigun: badlands rumble

okay so i gave this movie a pretty low rating for a couple very unimportant reasons. maybe i just wasn't in the mood to watch this movie because i was really bored for most of it... i also was not a fan of the wolfwood and vash interactions... the way their dynamic was written was not very appealing to me. vash was wayyy too horny brained and wolfwood was just all alone again? when in every other iteration of trigun wolfwood is terribly losing the idgaf war and is always finding a way to be around vash. it just felt very out of character. also was not a fan of the fact that wolfwood looked so pale. who is preventing him from seeing the sun!! let him out!! it's not like i Actively dislike this movie, but it's not something i really care for.

date: aug 15th 2023

status: currently watching

rating: - - - - -

hello, my twenties!

i started the first two episodes of hello, my twenties! on the plane and i'm hooked! thank you to my friend carlea for this recommendation. so far the show is sooo cute. ye eun was not a favorite of mine at first, but she is starting to slowly grow on me. i adore the rest of the girls so much. if i had to pick, i'd say ji won is my number one favorite character. she is so fun and lively and funny and i will never understand why it's so hard for her to get a boyfriend.. she's perfect! my favorite moment so far was her teaching eun jae how to let loose and dance. she's just such a great person. i understand why eun jae idolizes her so much...

date: aug 3rd 2023

status: currently reading

rating: - - - - -

the summer hikaru died

i'm now all caught up on the summer hikaru died and i am a huge fan of it already! the first chapter hooked me. i really love the body horror aspect of the story. as well as the psychological horror! the intimacy of holding your loved one's organs in your hand is something i can really appreciate..

hikaru and yoshiki also remind me so much of kenjaku and jin from jjk... (i've got terminal 'make everything about jjk disease' my bad). but it's really not my fault. they call 'hikaru' lord brain snatcher... like come on! i seem to have a pattern of getting really attached to this trope of "i know it's not you but i'd rather have you like this than not have you at all" and i'm not mad about it. i'm really excited for the english volumes to be released, this is absolutely something i want physical copies of in my bookshelf ＼(≧▽≦)／

date: aug 3rd 2023

status: completed

rating: ★ ★ ★ ☆ ☆

trigun (1998)

i literally just started this but i already have a couple thoughts. firstly, i just read that the first episode released on my birthday. in 1998, though, before i was born. but still! i think vash is so fucking hilarious. the dialogue is really funny, and vash's voice actor is incredible! it's so cool they got the same guy to voice him in the 1998 and the 2023 version. it's so nice to see meryl and millie be animated. god i love them so much!

i think episode 23 was the most batshit insane sequence of events i've ever experienced. they can't expect me to take "will you eat these sandwiches.. with me?" as a serious thing. i can't believe they actually fucked. millie is so unserious.. i think it's really funny that wolfwood stayed up til the sun rose chainsmoking afterwards i wonder what he was thinking about (gay thoughts)

things i like about this version:

• Millie Thompson
• Vash being really silly and funny
• Wolfwood's top tier sleaziness and sliminess
• Vash and Knives having long hair as kids
• guitar music

things i did not like about this version:

• Meryl is a lot dumber
• Monev should not have had read speaking lines
• Meryl should never be mean to Millie!!

highlight of the last episode was the flashback of vash nearly crushing knives' head in with a rock. how cain and abel of them. knives would have enjoyed the thought that went into this.

overall i think it was Fine. in my head it exists as a nice little silly adaptation of trigun but i wouldn't say its Good. that sounds mean though. i did still enjoy watching this a lot..

date: july 12th 2023

status: currently watching

rating: - - - - -

slam dunk

after seeing mizu's posts about slam dunk i've decided to finally start it. i've been really sick the past few days so i figured Now is best time to start it. i really miss older anime actually giving characters lips. i wonder why they don't do that anymore.. i really love our main guy but i wish he'd stop calling the only Black character a gorilla... i know this is 1993 but still..... Not Cool, Man.

i do love how hanamichi's first introduction is him getting rejected for the 50th time! with his friends celebrating for him. always have each other's backs when they need it most. a good group of guys. hanamichi just joined the basketball team so i'm excited how things turn out for him!

date: july 9th 2023

status: completed

rating: ★ ★ ★ ☆ ☆

the babysitter: killer queen

i watched the first babysitter movie several years ago and thought it was really fun. i had no idea there was a sequel until i found it while netflix browsing yesterday. this movie was pretty fun, i did Enjoy watching it. even though the acting was really bad. and the main character was like a jughead jones but less funny. i absolutely loved jenna ortega's performance in this though, she does so well in campy horror movies. i also think that "sex scene" where they had a bunch of... flower blooming videos and dancing while Jump On It by Sugarhill Gang Apache was playing in the background was. Absolutely incredible. Favorite sex scene I've ever watched in a movie. which is probably a strange thing to say, but it's true.

date: july 10th 2023

status: completed

rating: ★ ★ ★ ★ ★

trigun maximum by Yasuhiro Nightow

i downloaded over twelve hours of television to keep me entertained on my six hour flight. instead i read three volumes of trimax and knocked out. enjoy my silly little blurbs as i read each volume througout the summer.

trimax #1: I wonder how many times Vash will accidentally destroy half a planet and ghost everyone for a few years. I loved seeing Old Man Vash in this trying to live the simple life. Very enjoyable vashwood interactions in this. They're both just sooo weird they were made for each other. Wolfwood is feeling very girlcrush right now. Okay I think we just landed in New York I have no more thoughts.

trimax #2: For someone who calls himself a priest and the devil in the same breath, Wolfwood sure does have a way of acting real omnipresent the way he's always around when Vash is in trouble (though his help is rarely ever actually needed lmfao). I've never seen anyone lose the idgaf war (chainsmoking while replaying the memory of vash calling him a coward over and over again in the middle of the night) so badly and that's a lot coming from me. The reference to their first conversation about Vash's genuine smile and Wolfwood trying to make himself a bigger demon than he actually is “while his own heart cries out” was really good. I had to pause. I think my favorite part of their dynamic is how they just see right through each other! For the most part. From the moment they laid eyes on each other. I think that's pretty neat. Leonof is definitely the most fucked up of the Gung-ho-gun gang.. the puppets of Vash's family falling apart in his hands is just so cruel.. I love the themes of Family in this series. Vash and the family he dedicates his life to honoring, Wolfwood and his kids he kills to be there for (nico niiiiii), Millie and her monthly newsletter to every single one of her extended family members, Knives dedicating his entire life to getting Vash to be by his side. It's all just so good. No real thoughts just Good.

trimax #3: I think it's interesting how the main point of contention between Wolfwood and Vash right now is whether or not it is inevitable to kill. And I think I'm starting to understand both of them and the Issue at large here. I think what pisses Wolfwood off so much— how Vash seems to recklessly sacrifices himself every fight— is that he seems to be able to do this from a point of privilege (I don't think this, I think this is what Wolfwood thinks). I'm starting to see that more with the repetition of WW's inner monologue questioning if Vash is Human or Monster. I think the fact that Vash has the abilities to make it through these situations in which he definitely should have died, can be read in one way as he can afford to risk more. Because he knows he'll make it out alive. And Wolfwood is frustrated with his seemingly lack of self-preservation. This might be stupid but that's sorta what I'm getting from his whole "do you not even care what happens to you" vibe. I'm okay with being wrong about this. Also, I like how Wolfwood hasn't realized yet that Vash has no regard for his own well-being. So he's always shaking his fists like Vash whyyy do you do this to yourself and he's like. ☆⌒ヽ(*'､^*)chu I Deserve This. Yeaaaah these guys have got some real issues i love them so much.

trimax #4: wolfwood has gotten more time to shine this volume and i'm loving it. I really enjoyed watching him beat Nine Lives to death. I was wondering when they'd let him do that after all his monologuing about the necessity of murder and killing to survive and blah blah blah. Loved that! And the hospital scenes!! These were my friend's favorite chapters and I can totally see why. They're mine too so far. Wolfwood is finally starting to Conscioulsly (as opposed to subconsciously) understand Vash and why he does what he does. He's so attached it's really fun. Vash loves him a lot clearly, and Wolfwood is just always around and pretending to not enjoy it like “you need me so bad it's embarassing” (he's projecting). I'm really excited to see more of Knives and his evil plan to uhhhh convince Vash that he was right all along? I love Knives so much he's so silly and so amusing I love every panel that he's in and I hope she shows up more in the next volume. I would love to see more interactions between him and Vash and maybe even Wolfwood too..

trimax #5: Knives will always be such a funny villain because he genuinely thinks Traumatizing Vash even more will surely work in his favor. If his main goal is for him and his brother to work together and be One Team, you'd think he'd be more open to compromise... or at least. Not Traumatizing him every chance he gets. My favorite moment in this volume was this small scene towards the end when Vash claps his hands and bows to pray at the cross, and Wolfwood makes a comment about being in the wrong faith, which reminded me so much of what the bleeding of the stone by ibrahim al-koni is all about. The different ways to pray and worship, the commentary about the “right” and “wrong” way to worship, what the difference it makes as long as you can put “more feeling into it” as Vash says.. I actually thought that moment was really cool. There are lots of connections to be made between Vash as a character and this book actually. I wish I had my book with my notes with me so I could go more in-depth on this... The main character & Vash share similar values on Life and carry radically opposing beliefs to their surrounding character's Kill Maim Destroy (being dramatic here) mindset. Asouf's veganism & Vash's pacifism. Oh wow there's actually so many similarities. Religious themes... struggle between what is good and evil... the twins... Redemption... for Vash and for Cain... I hope I remember these thoughts when I get back home and have the energy to write a paper on this.

trimax #6: vash's struggle with self-forgiveness and guilt reminds me a lot of yuuji's struggles in jujutsu kaisen. i was so excited for livio's introduction in this volume! except we didn't see him much. but i think he'll be around more soon. at least, he better. sped through this one so it feels like a blur.

trimax #7: I really enjoyed comparing the anime adaptation with the manga for a lot of the scenes in this volume. the tessla flashback scene where they detail the horrors they put her through For The Sake Of Science was truly horrifying. Even more fucked up in the manga than it was in the anime. loved seeing knives be just. absolutely insane here. he's so stupid it's really enjoyable for me. loved all the vashwood moments too. the brothers face off yet again I wonder what disaster will follow in their aftermath...

trimax #8: okay this was such an emotional rollercoaster. we see wolfwood try and fail miserably to not gaf as he sees Vash off to his death. Presumably. dramatic goodbyes and all. And after all this time he's spent arguing with Vash on how necessary it is to kill in order to survive, I loved seeing him struggle to do so when it came to Livio (which I was SO happy to see BTW) and with any of the Eye of Micheal... his family.. I know it's mostly because of the brainwashing and conditioning he's been through, but another big part of it is that he was essentially made Parent to all of those children since he was 8 years old. So obviously, there's no way he'd be able to kill them so easily. Especially Livio. God, those Eye of Micheal guys are so evil. “I beg you.. the young ones.. all I wanted was to save them..” was so brutal. But what was even more emotionally devastating was Vash's “that man bet his life on me. He feared death twice as much as the others.. and did his best to hold onto life. You really think I care whether I win or not? He is reason enough to fight.” Oh I wanted to bash my head into the wall. We've already seen that Wolfwood would do anything for Vash, but this coming from Vash was so good to see. Also, that Wolfwood spinoff chapter HURT ME SO BAD.. visiting his kids from the orphanage who don't remember him because they were only babies and because he grew up so much made me so miserable. Every time I see those cult indoctrination flashbacks I feel so miserable.. man..... Wolfwood......

trimax #9: LIVIO RAZLO WOLFWOOD FIGHT WAS SOOOO GOOD. more cult content i really loved to see. it is so fucked up that those orphans didn't recognize wolfwood when he saw them again... when one of them was like "i think i knew him when i was younger but.. he shouldn't be that old" a part of me died. wolfwood giving livio a hug trying to get to him.. just so good. i loved seeing razlo he is so much fun. he's really just there to protect livio the only way he knows how (the bad way). i was thinking about how fucked up he is because the only people he has ever had contact with were 1. that evil chapel guy and 2. whichever group of people that would beat up and abuse livio. so he has had 0 socialization besides. protect livio. kill everyone who gets in your way. me personally, i loved seeing my fav guy Wolfwood get pumped full of bullets and then stand back up. i really like how they set this up as a battle between wolfwood's past and present. both literally (livio representing who he was, versus him now) and thematically (?) (wolfwood's internal monologue battle between what he has Always Known and what he loves about vash) it's just so good. i am so excited but so nervous for volume 10..

trimax #10: i will never be the same.

trimax #11: as devastating as the last volume was, I'm really grateful for the new livio & vash friendship. their bond means so much to me. I was so happy to see millie and Meryl reunite with vash, but the pages where Millie cries because she didn't get to say Goodbye to wolfwood made me tear up for realsies. The paneling, her expression right before she starts to cry.. Vash unable to look her in the eye because he knows his face will give it all away.. everything about that was incredible. Also. Zazie pulling a control bug out of her cooch was the LAST thing I expected out of this volume. Appreciated, though. Meryl & Vash's special fist bump made me cry. It's just. Too cute. And the fact that I now know the story behind Livio's hat makes me love him so much more (than I already did).

trimax #12: OH. knives.. really doesn't like having guns pointed at him, huh.. this fight between vash and knives so fucking Beautifully written I'm going to throw up. Vash trying to protect human life and stop knives from Arrogantly pulling the trigger Only for the military to do just that.. oh man that was so good I had to close my eyes for a bit and let that simmer. Their conflict is just so good.

trimax #13: RAZLO COMEBACK LETS GOOO! oh how I've missed you silly man.. the livio razlo elendira fight was actually so much fun. the quick memory panels of wolfwood and of razlo and vash after seeing that vial drop in the middle of the fight were so good. god and when livio asks for razlo's forgiveness.. I almost cried it's just all so beautifully done. razlo deserves so much love and care he cares so much. About livio. and his ness friends. Having someone to protect. this volume was dedicated for razlo lovers and I'm so glad nightow did this for Me. Personally.

trimax #14: god i don't have the energy to write out my full thoughts on this but. what a perfect manga series. seriously. the ending was perfect. vash is perfect. knives. perfect. everything. so good. perhaps i'll be more coherent with this later but i can't wait for some time to pass so i can reread this again.

date: jun. 25th 2023

status: completed

rating: ★ ★ ★ ★ ★

do revenge

i was debating whether or not to give this 4 or 5 stars. i couldn't come up with a reason to knock it down a star. so this movie was 5 stars. it was so enjoyable. i watched this with my cousin and it was so great. visually, the costume designs and the set and the whole Look of the movie was so appealing. i wish i went to a school that had such nice school colors. this was a really simple, cute, and silly movie, i loved the revenge plots and the obnoxious fake woke liberalism of it all. and i loved it especially because i did NOT see that plot twist coming! i predicted a bunch of other smaller things throughout (because i like doing that) but this wowed me. and i love that they got back together in the end and bonded. for most of the movie i was rooting for the revenge duo to become endgame, but i'm glad they didn't. or at least, i'm really happy with their friendship. a very fun watch. would recommend.

date: jun. 23rd 2023

status: completed

rating: ★ ★ ★ ★ ☆

shiver by junji ito

i don't have many thoughts on this but i enjoy junji ito's horror stories. the edition i had included a couple bonus pages of his notes after each chapter, and i thought it was cool to see the beginning stages of each of these stories. my personal favorite was the one with the puppet masters being controlled by the puppets. the evil french puppet had such a fun energy to him and i loved how everyone was lured into being controlled by little strings. i think if it were me i'd willingly join in. and then die, obviously. i was not made to be a surviving horror series character.

date: jun. 21st 2023

status: completed

rating: ★ ★ ★ ★ ★

trigun by Yasuhiro Nightow

after watching the new trigun stampede anime, i was really excited to start reading the manga it was based off of because i couldn't get enough of vash, wolfwood, meryl... and i am especially looking forward to more livio/razlo content too. one of my friends is reading it and i'm catching up so we can chat about our favorite sillies. i love the slight difference in characterization of vash in the manga. i'm sure it's probably just because this is the beginning of his story, but i love how silly he is in trigun! there was a moment where he meets this kid, buys his Obviously Fake Sob Story, feeds him, and then jumps into an existential crisis monolgoue about if humankind really deserve to live on such a planet. it's moments like these that have me thinking that him and wolfwood really do just Get each other. freaks who ride on the same wavelength. i also love that meryl and millie are gay in this. and that they adopted a cat together. i would love a bonus chapter (or two... or three or four) of those two engaging in silly mundane antics i think it would be so fun to see them in some low stakes situations. i was not expecting their dynanic to be explored so much in this part of the series, but i'm so glad it was. i tend to get very attatched to characters that value Family as much as millie does, and being able to see her aggressively fight for her values was really fun. for such a silly seeming gal she has a lot of depth to her that i appreciate. so excited to read more!

after reading volume 2 of trigun, I have to say I really like Wolfwood's characterization in the manga! Compared to the anime, he's way more queer! And a lot more giddy and charming while still having 0 social skills. It's a really fun side to him I didn't expect but love very much. I am interested to see how his dynamic with zazie & co. unfolds given how insanely quick Wolfwood has taken a liking to Vash after speaking to him for about three minutes. even I was taken aback by the “So you can smile… You always smile so cheerfully but it's so empty. I can see you hurting.” Immediately followed by Vash asking him out on a date. There's so much homoeroticism between vashwood in the manga already and I've barely even started. I'm hoping season 2 of the anime picks up on these elements because I really do love their dynamic so much more now that I've read the manga. one last moment that stood out to me was in their last fight, where this rich girl is held hostage and she finds out her dad killed people and stole land for her to live the life she has.... and Vash hits her with “I don't think you're stupid enough to ignore those on whom your life was built?” Which is just such a great line. It made me take Vash a little more seriously (when I put my media analysis hat on) because I really wasn't resonating with the sacrificial vibes he had going on in the anime and the beginning of the manga. While I don't care what happens to that rich girl I am so looking forward to seeing how these thoughts grow along with Vash in Trigun Maximum!

date: jun. 19th 2023

status: completed

rating: ★ ★ ★ ★ ☆

but i'm a cheerleader!

i can't believe i hadn't watched this movie earlier! this is such a cute iconic lesbian movie, putting it right up there with D.E.B.S. it's really funny and silly but at the same time gives us such genuine and sweet moments about accepting yourself and being who you are. "there's not just one way to be a lesbian" truer words have never been spoken. god bless the old man yaoi and the short but sweet old woman yuri appearances in this movie. natasha's performance in this was incredible this is the first movie i've seen of her when she was younger. she was adorable! my one and only complaint (otherwise, it really would have been a perfect movie) is that the characters all seem to not know that trans people exist? poor jan really liked guys the whole time. jan was just a guy. but that thought didn't cross anyone's mind. at all. despite showing up with a buzzcut and a mustache. i was a little disappointed that jan quit and was never seen again without getting her chance to have gender revelations the same way everyone else had sexuality revelations. but other than mishandling jan's character, i loved everything else about this movie. would totally recommend!

date: jun. 18th 2023

status: completed

rating: ★ ★ ★ ★ ☆

no. 6 (anime)

(rip to shion's face that got lost during the dithering process, lol) i re-watched this with my friend lola for the first time in years, and i fell in love with the series all over again. it's so unfortunate that you can't find this on any mainstream streaming platform.... you really have to know a guy who knows a guy to get your hands on this beautiful show. the main cast are such a lovable group of characters you really can't help but fall for every single one of them. i usually don't tend to enjoy the naive sheltered type, but shion is written in such a way that balances his privileged upbringing with these new truth of reality that nezumi sort of introduces him to. that was a werid way of saying what i meant but i'm too tired to be as thorough for this entry. i really love the political undertones to this story i thought it was a very well-done critique on capitalist and colonial power structures. the first and second time i watched this, i gave it a perfect 5 stars, but after this re-watch i was wondering with my friend if this had a manga series it was based off, and after quickly reading through the last few chapters we realized there was so much important content and a pretty big change in story that wasn't included in the anime. that alone made me knock it a point because i feel like the things that were missing from the anime were pretty important to the overall story and gave it more weight. so i was sad to see them fumble on that one. i do plan to read the manga from start to finish and pour over that more in-depth, so you'll probably see an entry later on the manga. overall i still have lots of love for no. 6, and i'm so excited to see how the manga differs from the anime...

date: jun. 16th 2023

status: completed

rating: ★ ★ ★ ★ ★

trigun stampede

i just watched the last episode of trigun stampede and i'm currently feeling LOTS of emotions as i prepare to word vomit my thoughts on here (as i always do). this one has been especially popular lately.. i don't usually like watching shows that i'm seeing all over my twitter timeline because i hate having expectations for things, but trigun wiggled it's way out of every expectation in a way that was actually fun.

despite the first three episodes being a bit slow for me to get through, i was really drawn into the religious tones to the show. i am a sucker for characters that ramble incoherently about God which is what made Wolfwood end up one of my favorite characters from this series. he was my First favorite because of his character design and the fact that his introduction consisted of a) getting hit by a truck b) pretending to be a priest for Who knows why and c) "no matter how big of a cross you carry you still deserve to eat and to smile" which. is really insane. this man lives his life interacting with people while having absolutely no emotional intelligence and i think that's really enjoyable. i always love the freaks that make it clear they have absolutely no idea how to behave like a human being and have no intentions of starting now. this is wolfwood and i love it.

i wasn't hooked on the show until the wolfwood and livio childhood flashback episode (i think it was 6?). that was honestly probably the most brilliantly written flashback episode i have ever seen. the change in animation style and the lack of dialogue gave the memories such a raw feeling to them i think it is such a perfect way to make me care so much about a character who lives and dies in the same episode and also give so much emotional (?) depth to wolfwood in such a short amount of time and still make it meaningful. i loved it i love livio and i hope we somehow get more of him in the manga and/or in season 2...

i think my favorite part was how season one ended. i think during the last three episodes is when i really started to get what was going on between knives and vash and that's how i really fell in love with millions knives. what a fucking whack-job! i love him because there were so many instances throughout the series where i thought he almost had something going for him ideologically, in terms of human exploitation and liberation and things of that sort. it seems all he really wants is for vash to be by his side but he's just doing such a godawful job at convincing him to join his fight. nai so badly wants both worlds but has no actual plan to execute this. he really just thinks he can do whatever he wants and that vash will just follow along... because they are brothers. he is so out of touch, these type of guys are my favorite characters because it's so much fun to explore their fucked up thought processes. like. it's great that knives thinks manipulating vash's memories and decapitating the memory of his beloved mother is A Great Bonding Moment Actually. the fact that this actually makes sense to knives is so endearing. while none of his reasoning actually make sense, he clearly has put so much thought into why he does the things that he does and for his. i adore him.

what really got me was the final episode... the fight between vash and knives. i was already starting to get emotional about the army unloading their entire arsenal on vash while he's trying to protect them all... and im thinking wow this feels very biblical (i have not read the bible but im thinking i probably should at this point). then i'm hit with vash's single busted up angel wing and the whole thing starts feeling really sad. only to get hit AGAIN with knives pulling up with a busted up angel wing on the other side, so it's like if two halves made a whole and that really got to me. the fight was miserable from start to finish because they both were just desperately clawing at the other hoping that what they wanted in each other would reveal itself only for it to Not. i loved it because it was so... unproductive. it was so beautiful but so heartbreaking to see these two brothers who clearly still love each other but want the other to be something they're not. i live for fucked up family dynamics and especially when the family is as tight-knit as these twins. for them to have been so close but fall on opposite extremes of the spectrum of morality and humanity was so good. by that i mean i see vash as way too optimistic about humanity (he really does feel like an Angel at the end) that it costs him his own self-worth and sense of self. whereas nai is so pessimistic he just wants to kill god. a fallen angel perhaps.

i thought this series was really well done... so good that in fact i Will be starting the manga immediately after because my friend Cloud tells me we get more of some favorite characters of mine. so i am very much looking forward to that.

date: jun. 12th 2023

status: completed

rating: ★ ★ ★ ★ ★

spider-man & venom: double trouble

stopped by the comic place on my way home from work today to pick up some spider-punk issues and i also randomly picked this out alongside it because the cover looked fun. i have seen this venom guy before but i haven't seen his movie or know anything else about him. so this right here is my first introduction to venom as a character and boy was it a great one. i'm sure venom is a much scarier villain when he's in more dramatic and intense situations but this super chill and funny setting was the Perfect way to introduce his character to me. i fell in love with the art style so fast and i felt it was so fitting for this kind of story. spidey and venom being roommates was so funny but also so cute and wholesome. i loved that they were actually friends. and gay. even though venom doesn't pay rent eats all his food and says things like "honey, i'm home!" spidey never kicks him out. which i think is really sweet. this also happened to be the most transgender work of fiction i've read in so long. and i'm being so serious. venom swapping bodies with spider-man so he can participate in what is essentially american ninja warrior because that is the only way he'd be allowed to do that. and the fact that moving around in spider-man's body came so naturally to him? he was so smooth and it felt natural to him meanwhile the spider-man in venom's body was clumsy and Struggling the whole time. that says a lot i think. the second body swap with the squirrel and the cat (which venom actually keeps as a pet...) was unexpected and so cute i loved every moment. seriously i can't think of anything bad to say about these issues i loved them so much. i love making mundane aus of any sort of intense dramatic story and these guys did all the work for me and wrapped it up in a beautiful fully colored package. it was amazing! i can't wait to read the rest of the spider-man comics i bought...

date: jun. 8th 2023

status: completed

rating: ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★

spider-man: across the spider-verse

i watched into the spider-verse when it first came out in theaters a few years ago, and i loved it a lot. i watched this one last night in theaters again. i got home and immediately found it online for free and watched it again because WOW. and today i just watched it for a third time with my friend. i guess you could say i loved this movie a lot... the animation was absolutely BEAUTIFUL i loved reading a few tweets here and there about how they animated hobie brown in particular (one of my favorites). i won't talk too much on the animation aspect because i don't know much about Animation but just know from my humble perspective it was SPECTACULAR. i loved the first half of the movie so much it was honestly perfect. i feel like i can't say much on the second half of the movie because all the thoughts i have right now rely on what happens in the second movie. i don't know anything about original spider-man lore so i am feeling a little behind.... but i am so invested and i've been so obsessed with this movie for the past 24 hours i feel like i should pick up the comics so i actually know what the fuck i'm talking about, you know?

(please take this with a grain of salt) but my thoughts so far on the movie are that i've read it in two ways. the first way (which i think is the main reading because i got this from my friend who knows a lot more about spider-man than i do, and this resonated with me the most) is that this movie is a commentary on the spider-man story itself, and how the writers and fan are so obsessed with this Canon storyline that the more you try to force characters into, the more watered down the character and story becomes. and miles our shining star is the spider-man that breaks the canon by doing what spider-man is supposed to do, save everyone. which contrasts miguel & co.'s insistence on sacrificing the few to save the many.. and miles breaking that canon is allowing for spider-man himself to have a more developed character and be more true to himself. regardless of whether that's right or not that's what i've gathered from it. and i like that.... idk i am feeling so nervous talking about spider-man like this because.... i hate being wrong about things and i know the chances are high because i haven't read the comics yet and since this movie is all about that i could be missing something huge... but whatever

oh i also wanted to add my thoughts following this on why gwen and peter were so awful to miles during this movie. not writing wise, as in they were awful friends to him. this may or may not be a hot take, i haven't seen anybody talk about this besides the 1am conversation i had with my friend lola on this. i think the way gwen and peter treated miles during the movie (leaving him out of spidey hq, standing there and doing nothing while miguel was beating the shit out miles, turning against him when he was forced to accept his dad's death) served to draw that distinction between characters who are "stuck" in the canon (gwen, peter, all the other spider-people) and those who break that canon (miles) (and also in a way, hobie and margo. i'll come back to these two later). what stood out to me was how hobie and margo both did more for miles than gwen and peter did in the whole movie, by teaching him to use his palms and by letting him go home. whereas gwen peter and miguel were all so hellbent on trying to morph miles into the spider-man they think he should be, the one that they believe is the true "canon" spider-man. which is not who he is! so i really liked that.

i don't think this alternative reading was intended but a lot of the scenes between miguel peter and miles about the sacrifices they must make and the pain they must endure made me think of generational trauma and cycles of harm. we saw jessica drew say things like "i made that mistake too, but i got over it" and miguel insisting that because he and all the other spider-people went through the trauma and pain of losing their dad, so did miles. and they sort of force this on him. to which miles points out how fucked up that is! instead of fighting for a universe where one spider-man doesn't have to go through that (which is actually exactly what miles does with pavitr! by saving that captain guy he not only breaks the Canon but he breaks that cycle of pain that every spider-man seems doomed to experience.. but pav is spared from that because of miles saving everyone), those guys continue that cycle of pain because it's the Canon... that "i went through this so you have to too" attitude made me think of the kinds of dynamics that occur between generations in families, which i thought was fun. i just wanted to write that down.

maybe i'll come back to this and add or edit stuff if i'm atrociously wrong about something after i read the comics and watch the next movie. that cliffhanger was insane and i can't believe they actually did that. i want to have complete thoughts on this incredible movie but it's hard when this is only half the story we started off with, so...

date: jun. 3rd 2023

status: completed

rating: ★ ★ ★ ★ ★

emergency declaration

out of all the disaster movies like this i've seen before, this was actually the best of the best. i honestly think this should be like at the Top of whatever this genre of movie is. the way it was shot was sooooooo intense they were playing with my heart rate like a fiddle! i really liked the political aspect of the movie where they showed the US and Japan rejecting the people in the plane and the protests and stuff. and that one moment where the main little girl came to the adults about something (being vague to avoid spoilers lol) and all of the adults listened to her and believed her! which sounds a little silly to point out but it meant a lot to me. and it reminded me of this one Nishnaabeg story i read for class a few semesters ago.. also, seeing the unnamed characters say their goodbyes to their families was so gut wrenching.... like Wow. it was so well done. i loved the movie a lot. i do think this story would be so much fun as a tv show. i just really think it would be cool to explore the Insane emotional rollercoaster of accepting death and then moments later being told you Won't be dying actually... like i'm sure that will fuck up people in many different ways.... a sort of Aftermath story would be cool to have for this movie if that makes sense...

date: jun. 3rd 2023

status: completed

rating: ★ ★ ★ ★ ☆

the little mermaid

ever since i saw they were doing a live action remake starring halle bailey of my favorite disney movie as a child i've been shivering in my timbers in excitement! fun fact when i was really young i would wake up extra early to watch the little mermaid on VCR and one day i wrote Ariel a letter and drew her a picture of herself to profess my love for her. so i thought it would be really smart for me to stuff my letter in with the VHS tape so that when i press play she would Receive my letter. little me thought this was a brilliant plan.. i broke the VCR and we never got it fixed... that's besides the point. i loved the casting for this movie so much, and i was surprised to find prince eric actually enjoyable in this movie! he was great. i didn't like his song so i took out 1/2 a star..... but that was like the only downside. so glad they made this movie... loved it so much.

date: jun. 1st 2023

status: completed

rating: ★ ★ ★ ★ ★

the bear

THIS IS SUCH A GREAT SHOW. i originally saw a video edit a year ago with this guy yelling at everybody, and i loved this actor in shameless so my interest was piqued. however i could Not for the life of me find that edit again or the name of the show until 2 days ago, when i finally found it and binged the whole thing in 2 days. me personally, i LOVE getting emotionally manipulated by tv shows. and boy did this show play with my feelings like a fiddle! the bear does such a great job at building tension and making me feel like having a panic attack alongside carmen and dispelling it just like that. that was a poor attempt at explaining what i mean but whatever. i actually adore the whole cast. i'm serious when i say every single character (at the restaurant) is my favorite. the dialogue is so funny but when it gets real it gets real. and they do such a good job with making sure there's a balance. i am so excited for season 2 which is supposed to be coming soon. i need 5 seasons of this show at least i'm SO invested. and i'm dying to know what this BEAR means on a wider scale. it's only appeared in the first and last episode of season one and we learn that both carmen and his dead brother were called Bear....... i'm so interested i need more content to be able to have any substantial theories of whatever this bear really means besides the bear = carmen's issues. i just!!! so much joy and love in my heart for this show and everyone in it. season 2 soon!!!!!!!!

date: may 29th 2023

status: completed

rating: ★ ★ ★ ★ ★

succession

i feel like i'm definitely going to have to come back to this when i am more able to put my thoughts into better words. friends have been begging me to start succession for a year now but looking at this cover photo i really did not think i would like it..... i don't usually watch these business-y type shows, i just don't care for them. but BOY was i WRONG about succession. immediately, the first episode hooked me. i think what first drew me in was the funny dialogue and how the siblings acted like literal children. the contrast between how much power they hold and how they were literally tackling each other over something stupid was something i really enjoyed. the show is SO well done, from a technical standpoint. it seems like they had the CASH for this show and it paid off. i am a sucker for fucked up family dynamics and the roy family...... chefs KISS. most fucked up family i've seen on tv in a while. the ending was GREAT and so SATISFYING god i wish i had to words to express the feeling in my chest right now.... it was just so good and i'm so glad i finally watched it. i cant wait for when enough time has past so i can rewatch it again.

date: may 27th 2023

status: completed

rating: ★ ★ ★ ★ ☆

star wars: episode iv

yes this is my first time watching star wars as well. i'm really not much of a movie guy i tend to enjoy tv shows more often... but here i am. i'm not sure why i keep putting myself through this. anyways i also Surprisingly enjoyed star wars (episode 4) a LOT. the INCREDIBLE special effects aside, i love Mr. Solo. he..... stole my heart. what a guy! my favorite characters in order are: those little cloaked creatures that make little kjsdfghdvhjkweti noises, artoo & threepio, and han solo. i don't care much for luke and leia sorry. glad they got to have their romance moment though. i want to watch the rest but i know it will take me a while because even though i did LOVE this movie, i'm just not a movie guy...... so this will just be a long term project.

date: may 24th 2023

status: completed

rating: ★ ★ ★ ★ ☆

the matrix

i watched this for the first time last week with my friend during our semi-frequent movie nights!! i felt like i just had to watch this movie at some point in my life, given it's a Classic and is referenced everywhere... and i ended up enjoying it a lot, which surprised me. i will say there was a part in the middle where i zoned out, which i guess means it wasn't that interesting to me but i really loved the concept and i see why everyone went nuts over this when it first came out. i love early 2000s movies about The Internet because they make me nostalgic and i am very interested in how people think of the internet both back in the day and also Now. and this movie itched that spot in my brain. the ending was perfect also i love how he just flew away.. because he Can do that. so silly!

date: may 5th 2023

status: completed

rating: ★ ★ ★ ★ ★

frankenstein by mary shelly

i just finished volume one of frankenstien, and will update when i finish the rest. i was not expecting to love this as much as i do, and i am so... so in love with this story! here's a ramble of my thoughts so far: while i've only gotten a small glimpse of Walton so far, i do love that he is very much head over heals for Victor the moment they met. they do have so much in common! especially in the way they both adore their sisters. i hope the next volume has more letters from him i would like to know more about what he's like. victor is my favorite! well to be quite honest they're all my favorites right now (walton victor elizabeth justine.. the parallels).

i'm not sure if it's meant to be funny but I did want to laugh over how quick and dramatic victor's shift was once he Created the creature. i found the "His limbs were in proportion, and I had selected his features as beautiful. Beautiful! Great God!" immediately followed by "A mummy again endued with animation could not be so hideous as that wretch." "...it became a thing such as even Dante could not have conceived" fucking hilarious. i do feel really bad for the creature like he didn't even do anything to be hated so much by his own Mother!!! speaking of. i am of the belief that Victor is a mother suffering from severe post-partum psychosis and depression. that's why he's like that. and says those things. i also really enjoyed his relationship with his Dear Friend Clerval i think they have something really special going on. there's this one excerpt is one of my favorites so far of the book:

but Clerval called forth the better feelings of my heart; he again taught me to love the aspect of nature, and the cheerful faces of children. Excellent friend! how sincerely you did love me, and endeavour to elevate my mind until it was on a level with your own. A selfish pursuit had cramped and narrowed me, until your gentleness and affection warmed and opened my senses;

i couldn't help but make the connection to satosugu [redacted]. i hope nothing bad happens to them... i say this because i feel like as long as Victor keeps his secret and lets his abandoned creation run off.. it seems more bad things will happen. Victor is kind of a wuss but i still like him ♡ my favorite queer irresponsible bastard.my last thoughts for now are that i think justine and elizabeth should have kissed before justine died (i love them) i really liked the "Thus the poor sufferer tried to comfort others and herself." and how those exact words were used to describe Elizabeth masking her own grief for the sake of keeping her family happy. they both just get each other so much. and don't get me started on Elizabeth's last words to her... truly a miserable world it would be without Justine...

volume 2 update: I've been speeding through this so fast (I'm just so into this) I forgot to take a moment after finishing volume 2 to write about it... so this will be a shorter entry than the first. until i get inspired and want to write more about it later.

Victor is really starting to piss me off! Stand up! He is being very woe is me right now, but I will say some of (all of, if we're being serious) these lines are just so beautiful. "Thus not the tenderness of friendship, nor the beauty of earth, nor of heaven, could redeem my soul from woe: the very accents of love were ineffectual." I really liked that one. It's especially interesting considering how Victor desperately tries to ease his soul and find crumbs of happiness when he's surrounded by nature, but even that won't work now. Victor reminds me of all the miserable whiny depressed narrators / main characters in some other things I've read (reminding me a lot of the unnamed narrator from Season of Migration to the North by Tayeb Salih right now). If he thinks he's miserable, wait til he hears the creature's lived experiences!

I was seriously almost brought to tears twice while reading the creature's story on the train it was so devastating. The creature is literally just a little guy. If Victor hadn't been such a bully and shown him kindness literally none of this would have happened but whatever man. #Don'tJudge. What I love is that the create has enough reasons right now to be truly evil and kill everyone but he's STILL giving Victor a chance to redeem all of humanity and give him a Frankenshorty. All he wants is companionship and Victor won't even give him that! Who is the real agent of evil and cruelty? I am going to be such a nerd about this and say this part of the creature's dialogue when he says:

'You are in the wrong,' replied the fiend; 'and, instead of threatening, I am content to reason with you. I am malicious because I am miserable. Am I not shunned and hated by all mankind? You, my creator, would tear me to pieces, and triumph; remember that, and tell me why I should pity man more than he pities me? You would not call it murder, if you could precipitate me into one of those ice-rifts, and destroy my frame, the work of your own hands.'

really reminded me of Meruem's dialogue with Netero in Hunter X Hunter... it was definitely inspired by this it had to have been. Maybe! I can't help but make connections like these. I personally believe Victor should suffer more! I am glad the stars and the heavens that once comforted him now mock him forever! I'll maybe come back with a more thoughtful analysis if I am feeling upto it, there is a lot to be said about responsibility, care, and community from this text, and I'm excited to read the last volume and see how this all ends.

volume 3 update / final thoughts: i'm keeping this one shorter because i am on the train and don't feel like writing a lot about this right now but. i loved this book so much. i already want to reread it. the Creature's last words really touched my heart i'm still in awe over how beautifully this was all written... "You hate me, but your abhorrence cannot equal that with which I regard myself"... "My spirit will sleep in peace, or if it thinks, it will not surely think thus. Farewell."... absolutely beautifully devastating. this is going on my Hall Of Fame of books, it's that good. I'm so glad i read this..

date: apr. 24th 2023

status: completed

rating: ★ ★ ★ ★ ★

the sucker by elle shivers

Wah! I am so glad I impulse bought this comic from one of my favorite artists. They draw a lot of fanart that I adore, so I was so psyched to see they have their own works published as well! The Sucker was such a beautiful read, beautifully, literarily, in all the ways. I loved the tense dynamic between the two main friends (EJ and Dani, I believe) the most. Getting those glimpses of their past when they swam together and seeing the way they sort of left off, only to reunite again with all those Complicated feelings about each other really touched me! My chest is full of feelings I can't really explain right now, I just know that it's a good thing. I am truly obsessed with this and I am so glad I got the opportunity to read such a tale. I totally recommend this to literally everyone (and you can click on the cover image to be directed to their site to buy the book)! ♡

date: apr. 20th 2023

status: completed

rating: ★ ★ ★ ★ ★

abbott elementary

i don't ever seek out a comedy show because i just don't find them that funny but abbott elementary is the exceptional exception. this show is hilarious! every single episode has me a-kekekeing and heheheing (ﾉ≧∀≦)ﾉ my favorite duo is barbara and melissa, but the character who makes me laugh the most is definitely ava. i love that it's in a school setting too, since i am thinking about becoming a teacher maybe... mimimimi. making as completed cause the first season is over, but I'm so excited to see what next season will bring. 5 trillion stars!

date: apr. 15th 2023

status: completed

rating: ★ ★ ★ ★ ☆

DARK

i love tv shows that function as if they are puzzles. DARK is so different from all the other time travel shows i've seen, and they play with the concept in such a unique way! it's a bit tragic but also perfect in a way. the writing is incredible, especially in the first two seasons and I truly appreciate how the ending of the series wraps up so nicely. because it's one of those shows where Everything Matters and all the details Mean Something i'm sure I missed a lot, but that's okay. This is a show that was made to be re-watched so I'm excited to do that later on. the casting for this show is actually insanely good. the directors must have sold their souls to find other actors who looked so much like each other to play their older/younger selves. it's really impressive. almost scary. the soundtrack is really great too, i've added Irgendwie Irgendwo Irgendwann by NENA to my own playlist. i will say that i enjoyed season 3 a lot less than i did the rest. i wouldn't say it's bad or lacking in quality compared to the first two seasons, i just personally couldn't get into the new World concept. i think the show was already so dense (I liked that) but this new layer was just too much for my little brain. but again, i don't think it was like worse than the others. the writing was just as good and the ending was also nice neat and fitting. i loved it. it just took me forever to get through the last season..

date: mar. 26th 2023

status: completed

i'm glad my mom died by jennette mccurdy

i read this entire book in one sitting yesterday. i read along with the audiobook CDs i got after seeing jennette speak at my school a few weeks ago. i usually don't enjoy reading memoirs (they bore me) but this is the exception to that. my God was it the most beautifully written work i've read in a while. i simply could not put it down. it was so immersive and emotional (i did tear up a little towards the end...) but also so funny at times. her story is so important and resonated with me in ways i didn't think it would. i honestly think Anyone no matter what books they like to read would enjoy this. so much love in my heart for jennette i am so happy for her and how far she's come. her experiences with the Healing process is something i hold dear to my heart. ah! just such a good book.

date: mar. 19th 2023

status: currently reading

rating: - - - - -

blue lock

i had initially started reading this because i saw a lot of funny panels where the dialogue looked really silly, but i'm almost caught up now and i genuinely love this series. it's so very intense but the characters are all so loveable and crazy and i love all the portrayals of the different ways to love soccer. it's really fun. i'm probably misleading a few people by describing blue lock in such a wholesome way but it really is a sweet treat for me. my favorite players are shidou, rin, and isagi. and bachira too. but (more importantly) my favorite character dynamics are whatever rin and isagi & also shido and itoshi got going on. i just love it when it's the two characters that seem the most different that end up being the best matches for each other. it's also not that common i care so much about the main character but isagi i am rooting for you! you crazy little boy! いけ いけ いさぎ !

date: mar. 25th 2023

status: completed

rating: ★ ★ ★ ☆ ☆

thistlefoot by gennarose nethercott

i impulsively bought this book during my last trip to my local bookstore because i was very curious about this house with chicken legs... it took me a while to get through the book because the pacing was too slow for me to stay hooked for too long. i considered putting it on pause and reading something else for a bit, but i am really glad i didn't do that. i loved the story it had to tell! i am a big fan of stories about stories and generational tales and this book was very much that. plus it was the first time reading a story based in Jewish folklore and I really loved it. isaac was my favorite character, and his past with benji was very fun to read about. i love the way the ending was told.. i'm really attached to that house. overall, a good read. i think i would have got through it sooner if i could listen along to the audiobook, but i couldn't find it anywhere for free...

date: mar. 18th 2023

status: completed

rating: ★ ★ ★ ★ ☆

swarm

update (04-02-2023): a friend told me apparently it's not based on real events at all really and i was tricked by the internet again. which means i can give it a star rating heheee. i feel so silly but i'll keep up my insane little rant below because although my larger ideas might not apply to swarm anymore, i think i make good points in general. i feel strangely embarrassed but also its okay because who cares

i think Swarm was beautifully crafted and the acting was incredible. however. the more i think and talk about this show the more i am bothered by this strange feeling i have about what this show actually is. it's hard to describe but it feels a little lost in it's purpose. watching the show, it really feels like it's a fiction thriller show (despite it saying "this is not fiction" in the beginning of every episode), but it's not. now, i don't know much about the actual events this show is based on, but i know it is based on both real life events and rumors, calling itself Not Fiction. this really bothers me. i worry about what it means to take real life events and portray them in a way that feels? fictional? hm. i feel like i'm not doing a great job of expressing what i mean. this just didn't feel as serious as it was, i feel, supposed to be. when reading this show as a non-fiction piece, it feels like another one of those serial killer documentary that glamorizes and makes a spectacle of real killers. which is not great. it also makes me feel weird as a viewer, enjoying what feels like a fun Fictional thriller, and then remembering that this is not fictional and real people were hurt by these events. this is the biggest issue i have with the show, and this exactly is also what makes its commentary on stan culture feel really shallow. now, if this was indeed fiction, i wouldn't mind the shallow commentary because this show doesn't feel like it was that serious to begin with. it's really artistic and beautiful and emotionally engaging and visually appealing, but i think it was missing the more serious undertones it needs. like, those serial killer documentaries are documentaries, so (despite those shows being terrible and incredibly harmful) at least you would know what you're going into before you start watching.

maybe i'm totally wrong and stupid about this. but i just think this kind of uncertainty? whatever the missing piece is here that's bugging me so much.. is really important to have and without it i feel like it can send weird messages to viewers who are struggling enough with media literacy today. idk man.... the implications are weird. i feel weird!

date: mar. 13th 2023

status: completed

rating: ★ ★ ★ ★ ★

the last of us (season 1)

after watching the entire first season what i have to say is: man this show is just so beautifully written. and amazingly produced. i think the scene in the season finale where joel is killing everyone in the hospital but the audio is muffled almost like you're putting your hands over your ears was so powerful to me. chefs kiss absolutely brilliant. that will stick with me forever. the worldbuilding is just so cool. i've been seeing side by side comparisons of the show and the game and i am so impressed by how true to the source material they are. i haven't played the games but i know many who have and they all have told me that even though they know what will happen they are still hooked and excited to see what each episode brings. i love joel ellie so much. best duo to ever duo.

date: mar. 11th 2023

status: completed

rating: ★ ★ ★ ★ ☆

every single scream movie

i have taken it upon myself to watch every single scream movie in a row, and i will compile my little Thoughts all into one post because having 6 boxes on SCREAM feels insane. plus i don't think i'll have much to say on each individual one. we'll see though.

(3/8/23) scream 1: loved it. too many breaking 4th wall jokes about Horror Movie Structure but the scene where that nerd guy was like "behind you!" and the freaks in the van were watching him and screaming "behind you!" was really funny.

(3/10/23) scream 2: i see that the fourth wall thing is a Bit now. i get it. it's fun i do enjoy it now a lot more. i started to get bored halfway though because i just don't care about dewey and Monica (who i know is not actually named monica). but then the end got exciting again. even though i wasn't a fan of the killers this time. felt like something was missing...

scream 3: what is sid's kill count at this point my god! they can't let her keep getting away with this!!!!

(3/11/23) scream 4: alright we're starting to pick up. better than 3, pretty good. i did get a little bored halfway through tho. again. i loved emma roberts though. i think i would have disliked this one a lot more without her performance. she carried!!!

scream 5: i think this one might be my favorite so far. i suddenly care more about dewey and monica now. i've started to love the movie structure monologues they do every time it makes me feel like i'm taking film 101. amber has been my favorite killer so far besides the originals i'd say. the fact that it's all in the same house is a detail i loved. ugh! everything was done so much better.

scream 6: an incredible movie!!! i'm so glad i got to see this one in theaters. i absolutely love the killers in this one, the acting was incredible and tbh i supported them! i'll be vague to avoid spoilers since this one is so new, but ahh!!! the twist?! so good. i totally didn't see you-know-who coming back. and then the thing!!! and then he made it!!!!! wow. haha. 5/5. my official ranking as of my Feelings right now are 1, 4+5 all tied for first. then its 4, 2, and then 3. what a great franchise. scream7 now!!!!!!!!!!

date: mar. 6th 2023

status: completed

rating: ★ ★ ★ ★ ☆

cardcaptor sakura

i love how adorable this show is. i did enjoy the first season a lot more than the second. especially towards the end with the yue Development and also just getting more growth out of sakura and li. i feel like the pacing was just more to my liking than it was in the second season. but!! i didn't dislike season 2 or anything, it's super cute and i am living for all the yukino and tomoya moments... (the best part of the entire series tbh) they mean so much to me (´｡• ω •｡`) ♡