media log

my best attempt at a comprehensive log of all the media i've consumed since i made this page... sometimes i have cool valuable things to say. other times i don't. i also watch a lot of movies (too many) but logging them all on here broke my website. i have a letterboxd if you want to check out my movie taste...

# anime
x

date: apr 4th 2024

status: currently watching

flip flappers

it's me and the magical girl yuri until the end of time...

# videogame
x

date: mar 30th 2024

status: currently playing

life is strange 2

i just started playing life is strange 2! i'm playing with friends every saturday. very excited! i haven't played the first one, but i was told it fine to just jump into the second game. i love how awkward and cheesy the dialogue is, it feels really True to 2016 teenagehood.

# film
x

date: mar 24th 2024

status: completed

waiting for dracula (2012)

you're all just sitting here waiting for dracula? well yes! and having a blast while we're at it. i loved all the vampiresses and how their first words after turning were "i'm a vampire raaaah!" except for one guy who turned and was like "i feel pretty!" i see him for who he is. this movie is so queer in so many ways, and the dialogue was so funny i ended up writing down so many one liners in my notes app, my favorite being, "i'm looking for… dope-dervs, you know like the dope equivalent of hors d'oeuvres." i also loved all the random little side characters like the first time goth and all the others who thought all it took to be goth was a black t-shirt and bad eyeliner. and when i tell you i cheered like a live studio audience when Dawna Lee Heising showed up to her job interview in a cat costume and trauma dumped on her future employer you better believe it! i loved her in this so much i wish she had more screen time. the reality tv confessionals were the perfect choice for this movie, especially after the guy renting out the place says "i think reality tv is totally gay." it really sets the tone for how magical and special this movie will be. loved it.. want to re-watch it already..

# literature
x

date: mar 22nd 2024

status: completed

the body papers by grade talusan

not sure why i read this whole thing.. i always feel bad for not liking memoirs. it was fine, but i wasn't really into it. i did genuinely like the use of photos and letters inserted throughout. but other than that i was just wondering why i was bothering finishing it... i can be more honest here because i'm not worried about the author seeing this like if i had wrote about it on goodreads or something. lmfao. sorry i was bored.

# tv
x

date: mar 22nd 2024

status: completed

quiet on set: the dark side of kid's tv

i really liked this docu-series i thought it was pretty well made and i think it's really important to be vocal about these issues not only when it's adults being abused in these spaces but especially when kids are too. it's true that children are the most oppressed class and documentaries like these are an important way to work towards ending these cycles of abuse. i do agree with quintonreviews in his video when he said it feels like the documentary had the same bias towards drake bell as a lot of the people on Nickelodeon did towards dan schneider-- meaning they were the moneymakers of their shows, so they turn a blind eye towards the abuse they've been enacting on others. so while obviously not perfect and still flawed, i still thought it was pretty good.

# videogame
x

date: mar 20th 2024

status: completed

grimm's hollow

how on earth is this game free?! i randomly decided to download this off steam because it looked cute and it was free and i'm so glad i did. grimm's hollow was such an adorable and heartfelt game. i loved the writing. super short and sweet, i finished one playthrough in about two and a half hours. the main character, eldest daughter and big sister, was so touching.. dearest lavender. her little brother timmy.. they were so cute. the art style was adorable, very purple! and the soundtrack was really great. i want to buy it.. i hope they have physical CDs of it.

# videogame
x

date: mar 17th 2024

status: completed

detroit: become human

i played this one with friends and we finally finished the story tonight! i loved this one a lot.. i played as markus which was stressful but i enjoyed every bit. him and connor are my favorites. i loved markus's relationship with carl... even though i will never understand how someone who calls himself an artist will buy robot birds... lmao. i had markus lead a Successful violent rebellion and connor helped #yaoi kara and alice died at the checkpoint though i was super sad about that... i think my biggest beef was the lukewarm politics of the World but i was able to look past it.. i think it would have been more fun if the people who made this game read Fanon or something like Right before starting this lol. i'm mostly kidding. mostly. other than that i really loved it. lots of fun!

# tv
x

date: mar 5th 2024

status: completed

leverage

basically if the phantom troupe from hxh was not really into murder. also, parker is quite literally the best most well written most perfect fictional character in the entire world. or at least, out of everything i've ever watched in my life. this was such an enjoyable watch. it's light, it's silly, but the characters are so loveable i haven't been attached to characters like this in so long. they are just the perfect comfort characters. hardison parker eliot (OT3) dynamic is something so special. they take care of each other. they just make me so happy. sophie took a bit to warm up to me in the early seasons but she's literally my wife and i will kill nate for her. just saying. this entry isn't as thorough as i wanted it to be because i'm sleepy but. this was such a feel good show. i loved it. i love these characters. i love parker's rise to power. i'd die for her. top ten characters of all time.

# tv
x

date: mar 3rd 2024

status: completed

hannibal

i'm like eight years late to the party but i'm finally watching hannibal. loving it so far. this cannibal yaoi gets serious. i thought it would be queerbait because it's 2013 but they're really doing it here. they mean business! i think i've said this before on here, but i'm such a sucker for cyclical narratives and any sort of parallels ever so when will got shot in the exact same spot abigail's dad died and spoke his last words "see? see?" i knew i'd love this show. i don't even have much to really say right now other than i like it! it's entertaining! and really funny a lot of the time, though i'm not sure if it's intentional. my only complaint is that UGH most of the scenes are so dark i literally can't see what's going on with my screen brightness turned up to the max. why. why do they do this. let me see. anyways. i love mister hannibal he's so charming and fun. i love me a cannibal with class.

update i just finished season 2 and it's so good but i'm not coherent so here are some notes:

  • i love seeing jack beat the fuck out of hannibal it's somehow so beautiful and i find their confrontations so satisfying.. like i know the main focus is on hannibal and will but they give a lot of weight to hannibal and jack's friendship too which is so valuable...
  • i love how hannibal expresses his love through artistically displayed mutilated bodies & poetic monologues about love and desire and will expresses his love though Making An Appointment and saying things like I Fantasize About Killing You With My Hands…. a match made in heaven?
  • their love is real not queerbait. season 2 finale mizumono.......... are you kidding me? "i let you in. i let you know me. see me. i gave you a gift and you didn't want it." "didn't i?" i was a wreck

update now that i've finished: i can't tell if i've just been out of it or if season 3 just didn't live up to season 2... or maybe its because the season 2 finale was so incredible anything after felt weak in comparison? either way. i still loved the last couple episodes of the series. i was bummed that hannibal was captured and it felt like the series was stuck for a while. but i enjoyed his little jokes and sassy lines nonetheless. the series finale was incredible. if there's one thing these writers know how to do is write an end! i can't believe hannibal and will had hot steamy sloppy bloody sex and then will cried. very artistic.

# film
x

date: feb 29th 2024

status: completed

down and out in vampire hills (2023)

i've had enough of seeing sexy vampires in castles and mansions. i need more sexy vampires suffering under our cruel capitalist society and having existential crises while sparkling in the moonlight. i will once again take this opportunity to say dawna lee heising is an blessing to the entertainment industry and may she always be employed for as long as she desires to be. every movie i've seen with her so far has been great. she has a charm that is inexplicable. this movie was actually funny and i wish it was longer than 22 minutes. i don't give star ratings because they stress me out but this one is 5 stars.

# animanga
x

date: feb 26th 2024

status: dropped :(

stop!! hibari-kun!

starting an entry before i even finish this series because oh my GOD. i honestly cannot believe i haven't heard about this absolute gem of an animanga until now?! our lovely main character, hibari is the coolest funniest prettiest most perfectest (trans!!) girl in the world. and this was written in the 80s! i'm about 5 eps in so far and am constantly overwhelmed by how cute and wonderful and amazing this show is. i'm also reading the manga alongside it because i literally can't get enough of this girl. though its still important to note that because this was made in the 80s, there are unfortunate instances of gross racist caricatures here and there which are pretty upsetting.. besides the casual transphobia from her family, hibari passes as a girl at school so everyone loves her and her love interest (kosaku) really actually likes her! and he knows she's trans! as of now he's still processing lol but i love the little moments he has where he's like "for some strange reason i'm really glad hibari didn't change..." its just. so cute and so healing. and watching this after just having seen love exposure is great. i am now officially on a roll of consuming trans girl media. 2024 is off to a great start.

update as of late february: the racism got so bad it's actually unwatchable so i think we're just going to stop. it's actually so unfortunate because the show had such a promising start. i've been reading a little bit of the manga to compare the two and it's insane how wildly different they are. the original manga is way better, way less racist. i still have more to read but a majority of the gross racist bits were added onto the anime, not originally written by the mangaka. so that's something i guess.

# film
x

date: feb 25th 2024

status: completed

perfect blue (1997)

this is my second watch but it's my first entry on here because i first watched this before the birth of sabrinparty. this is such a beautifully crafted film. so glad i have this on DVD. being able to hold a work of art i love so much is... a great feeling to have.

one of the things that stood out to me the most while watching this time was her struggle with trying to figure out who she is, and how that gets stomped on by all the people who are supposed to be protecting her. the repetition of her first line as an actress, "who are you?" over and over again as she tries to navigate this new chapter of her life she isn't necessarily comfortable with. she quits CHAM because she wants to enter the next stage of her life, adulthood, but she doesn't know what that's supposed to be like, she doesn't like it, and no one is helping her navigate it. the line, "who are you?" is only for the show she's in, but the way this movie seamlessly weaves in and out of these filming scene, making it impossible to tell what's acting and what's real, fully contribute to these feelings of confusion? disconnect with reality and oneself. which is like, exactly what mima's going through. i love the way the narrative mimics mima's internal struggles. it's insane. it's gorgeous. these cuts make it hard to tell what's real. and for mima, a lot of things don't seem real from minute 0. her pop idol image isn't the real her, her acting roles weren't real, the rape scene wasn't real, mima's room isn't real, her dead fish weren't real, her existential crisis wasn't real (the plot of the show she's starring in) which makes it so when real shit happens, when she really starts killing people, that doesn't feel real either. in her isolation, she feels not only disconnected from everyone around her, but disconnected from herself. how can she figure out who she is when she doesn't even know if she's real or if she's yesterday? that is, until we are faced with rumi in mima's red dress. rumi held onto mima's career, projected onto her so much she became her (think: mari projecting so much onto komori she 'became' him) that yearning to be someone else, so exist as someone else, that desire for escape and liberation at the same time. so when mima quit CHAM, rumi's reality shattered. rumi too lost her sense of identity, her sense of self, after CHAM. the scene where mima rips off rumi's wig and she wails was. insanely touching. the whole time rumi's painted as a mysterious mastermind villain but in this scene she's completely humanized and truly sad. unlike any sad we've seen in this movie so far. the moment when she's staring at her reflection in the shattered glass... it's when everything in her shattered as well. and it's rumi's complete fractured reality that jolts mima back into hers. it's the first time she feels secure in herself. she no longer asks who she is, she states 'i am who i am' and that's her moment. the first time i watched this movie, i thought the final scene when mima looks in the mirror and says 'i'm the real mima' was an ambiguous ending, made to hint at some residual insanity in her. but honestly, this time i feel like it's more of a conclusion to her self actualization. mima's found herself. she know's she is herself and is secure in it, now that rumi isn't fucking up her sanity anymore. which... she totally was. i do subscribe to the 'rumi was drugging mima' theory i think that's definitely what was going on. but that's not really important in my opinion. i was scribbling all my thoughts as i watched there's some things i'm just too tired to articulate now. or ever. half baked thoughts. not worth explaining... anyways. i enjoyed rewatching one of my favorite movies. its 6am now. goodnight.

# videogame
x

date: feb 19th 2024

status: in progress

final fantasy vii remake - intergrade

i've finally begun my final fantasy journey. i've been wanting to play these games forever, and my friend carlea is obsessed with it. and does life even have a purpose if i'm not consuming each and every single one of carlea's media recs? i don't think so. i only just started, but i am really loving it so far. i'm planning on being as thorough as possible with this play-through. because i don't think i'll have it in me to replay this big of a game. i am a plot driven gamer but at the same time.. i do love being the errand boy... and doing things like help little girls find her lost cats. great stuff. super cute. cloud is such an angsty guy. always with his hand on his hip complaining about something. i also just met sephiroth and he is like if millions knives and illumi zoldyck were put into a blender. so obviously i love him. i plan to update this as i continue playing.

# film
x

date: feb 23rd 2024

status: completed

noriko's dinner table (2005)

mixed feelings about this one. but i do think it was better than suicide club. i think the main reason why i feel so uneasy about this is that i cannot for the life of me understand any of these characters, truly. like i get it, on the surface. family drama. feeling disconnected from the people you live so closely with can be maddening. nothing feels real. but i still don't feel connected to these characters. nothing they do makes any sense to me. which is a first i think, in my whole life. so it all feels so weird. i didn't really appreciate the pessimistic? note it left on. with the family back together but. pretending to pretend they're happy, which is what led to everything in the first place, which yoko said she wanted to keep forever, and then she left? i was just confused as to why.

like, i get why noriko ran away from home (she didn't feel like she was seen as an individual, wanted to be independent, wanted to be seen as unique) but i don't get why she developed daddy issues all of a sudden? and got super attached to her first pretend father? her issue with her dad was that she wasn't seen not that she wasn't loved. and i get why yoko followed her sister but i don't get why she left a trail of clues for her dad, only to reject him when he finally finds her? and then beg for everyone to extend the session only to just leave? and i get why broken dam wanted to kill herself but i don't get why ueno went from suicides to family rentals to suicides again? this is just sorta where my head is at.

one thing i did really love about this movie though was the camerawork i think it carried a lot of the scenes that would have been otherwise painful to get through with the excessive audio-book esque narration. but most of all i really loved the identity play themes with the concept of the new internet. i love the underlying queer themes they give noriko with her sister making the offhanded comment about how she doesn't even like being a woman. she wishes she was a man. and the fact that she feels the most like herself when she's living out her created identity online. the internet gives her the space to explore her identity in ways she couldn't at home. and her anxieties about meeting ueno for the first time in person, where she'd be showing her 'irl' self was such an interesting way to show how it feels to have your identity not be aligned with your body. this was my favorite part of the movie, the most interesting part in my humble opinion. so i did like it. it just also made me feel frustrated. so. pretty okay movie.

# film
x

date: feb 23rd 2024

status: completed

garbanzo gas (2007)

you know how i said i wanted to watch the rest of giuseppe andrews's movies? well.. not sure if that will happen but i did watch another one. and i loved it just as much. i couldn't look away. it's poetic in a way i can't really describe. it sounds like it should be nonsensical but everything makes perfect sense. it's goofy yet genuine. raw, even. says something about poverty, classism, you know. animal rights. deep stuff. the conversation between the cow and the man who takes him back to the slaughterhouse almost made me cry. he just wants to have a good time. also this movie had the most insanely catchy soundtrack i've ever heard. i played the song that goes "I tattooed a picture of tits on my arm I said baby are you afraid of the fucking docks she said I'm only afraid of how my hair looks in the morning" and she said it made her head hurt. which means it was a masterpiece, in case you didn't know that already. my favorite line is: You're dealing with a guy who didn't eat breakfast yet. What the FUCK is up? this guy has been flipping tables and demanding breakfast and coffee since the beginning of the movie and i resonate with him on a spiritual level. i get it. i get him. these characters are so relatable...

# literature
x

date: feb 23rd 2024

status: completed sorta

sophocles ii

i forgot i could also log stuff i've read for school. i put down 'completed sorta' because i read ajax and philoctetes and i don't think i'll read the others anytime soon. so completed for now. i had a blast reading these plays. ajax reminded me so much of kendall roy from succession and naoya zenin from jujutsu kaisen. lots of 'i am the eldest boy!' vibes from this guy. philoctetes made me way more emotional than i expected.. his exchange with neoptolemus was so sweet. except i hated the ending... not a fan of the 'listen to the gods and stick to the status quo' thing but i guess that's the point of these works, generally. maybe i'll read the rest of this over the summer? i do really love these greek plays...

# videogame
x

date: feb 19th 2024

status: completed

EVA 4 DATING SIM RPG

this game was so ridiculous i feel silly just including it here but i literally have to. also it's iconic. the only screenshot i've seen before playing this game is this one where asuka's like Fuck! My IQ was decreased today at school I HATE that school it doesn't work correctly. (Smashes a coffee cup over her own head) Ahh that feels better I think I might go to bed now. and it still is my favorite moment in the whole game. that and the various ways in which the girls kill you dead when you call them stupid bitches. asuka is so relatable... anyways. i got all 4 endings. you can play it too if you'd like here...

# literature
x

date: feb 13th 2024

status: completed

bunny by mona awad

i have mixed feelings about this one. i think. the first hundred pages were a bore, the main character was giving a sort of pathetic girl vibe that i did not find interesting at all, but i pushed through. it really started picking up when the girlcult frankenstein workshops begun and they started making and slaughtering boybunnies. bunnyboys? misshapen deformed works of art. hollow carcases? whatever. and then the main character made the best boybunny of all.. which was actually just a masculinized version of herself who is allowed to love her best friend in ways she feels she cant. her best friend ava who may or may not be a bird. it's very absurd and i really liked the intensity of this part. it took me a while to finish because i couldn't fully be immersed, perhaps the writing style and i aren't that compatible. but i didn't hate it. i liked it. i just didn't love it.

# film
x

date: feb 11th 2024

status: completed

pink flamingos (1972)

this is one of those movies that’s just so incredible and amazing, but i don't think i would ever watch again. as my friend flavia said, the good parts are so good. and the bad parts are so bad. divine is such a cool character. she kills and eats cops. her politics are, and i quote “KILL EVERYONE NOW. CONDONE FIRST DEGREE MURDER. ADVOCATE CANNIBALISM. EAT SHIT.” and she's incredible. she pisses on rich people lawns she steals she murders rapists she kills and eats policemen. these are all some of her greatest qualities. but then you know. she hangs out with nazis and fucks her biological son. so it's like what the hell girl!!!!! i thought we had something special. it's obvious that the movie was really going for like, Edgy Themes in the 70s which accounts for the Actual dead chicken (rip) and the rape scene and the flexing asshole i will never be able to unsee and the nazis she keeps as friends, i just wish they went a different route. you can't have Divine be this badass cop killing man eater shoplifter rapist killer and then Also have her befriend Nazis and do weird incest stuff.. that's my biggest frustration with the movie. but like besides that, i honestly thought the movie was hilarious i laughed so hard i cried. it was funny it was weird i'm so glad edie and her egg man had a happy ending and that the human traffickers were shot and killed. satisfying end plot wise i'd say. shrugs.

what i really valued was at the very end we got a bonus segment of the director John Waters sitting at his desk like “i hope you enjoyed my movie” like i didn't just watch a man flex his asshole open and closed for however many minutes too long. this John Waters man is fucking insane. the segment was so much fun though he showed us deleted scenes and talked about how even HE didn't really know what was going on in some of the scenes which was fun. i really needed that. i needed to hear this man Explain Himself. so like, yeah overall i really enjoyed that movie but like what the fuck

# videogame
x

date: feb 2nd 2024

status: completed

dead plate

i randomly popped into a discord vc with friends and saw they were playing this game i'd never heard of, so i stuck around to watch the entire playthrough of dead plate. the art style of the game is super cute, and i'm a big fan of how they play into that in contrast with the scarier aspects of the game. i think one of my first thoughts as i was watching was 'this is kinda like if doki doki literature club and the tv show The Bear had a baby' (it's not really true but i had only been like.. 3 minutes into the game by that point). the story was short and sweet, which is something that i liked and at the same time Didn't like about it. if that makes any sense at all. it's a very cute game, but i wish it had been a little more developed. story wise? i just really fell in love with the homoerotic vaguely cannibalistic tendencies. cause vince is complicated? i want to play the game on my own again to really get a better understanding but i liked how vince Cooks people.. but he doesn't eat them? he's not really a cannibal except for that one time but that was more of a gay thing so.. i dunno. i like the weird distinction. anyways, dead plate is a very fun game and i've been thinking about it for the past 2 days before i realized i hadn't logged this game yet. maybe i'll update this word vomit mess when i replay this soon probably.

# tv
x

date: jan 31 2024

status: completed

euphoria

finally got around to watching this, and i ended up enjoying it way more than i thought i would. i went into this with low expectations, especially because i've heard about how awful the writer of the show is to the actresses behind the scenes. but the writing itself, was actually pretty good. i thought the show was really well made, they had moneyyy!! at first, my opinion of the show was that it's like riverdale but way less fun. and i think it's sort of true, euphoria takes itself way more seriously, but it pays off. i adore rue's musical scenes that follow her along the different parts of her journey with addiction. and i also love how they play with visualizing intrusive thoughts sometimes, like when rue and jules had nate tied up to a chair and on Fire, or the scene when cal shot himself in the head when his wife was like "dlogtxt's ready" but the camera panned and cal just left his bedroom as if nothing happened (because nothing did happen). i think i described that awfully but whatever you know what i mean. i thought that was cool. my favorites are jules, rue, fez, and lexi has recently climbed her way up to the favorite character list. these guys carry the series. i love the rest of the characters too they just don't make me as emotional as those guys. i think my main beef with the story is that i don't like how they try to "humanize" or attempt to make nate and cal more likeable throughout the show because the way they do it feels... flat? just wrong. i wanted nate to be more likeable to me, but i just don't like him. so maybe that's not even a fault of the writing. i'm just mad i don't like him when i wanted to like him. i just really like villains who i hate but like at the same time, and nate is not that for me. anywho, i will most likely tune in for season 3.

# manga
x

date: jan 19 2024

status: completed

inside mari by shūzō oshimi

wah this manga series is unlike anything i've read before, and god was it an emotional experience. what starts off as a freaky friday trope ends up being an insanely vulnerable (? if that's the right word..) take on gender, body dysmorphia, and Identity itself. i absolutely love the way the freaky friday trope felt incomplete as we learn that while komori is in mari's body, mari is not in komori's. komori was still his loser self. and even then! i did not see the big reveal coming. learning about mari's relationship with her awful mother who completely shattered her sense of identity as a child by giving her a new name after her grandmother died. trauma after trauma was probably the first major way mari's sense of identity was fragmented. then we have her romantic feelings for other girls, which she felt like she could never express due to her social status at school and the fabricated identity of mari she upheld in public. she no longer feels attached to fumiko (birth name) or mari (the put-together, popular, “nice” girl at school). so naturally when dealing with all the above pressures, she projects onto komori. the college dropout hermit who, in mari's words, doesn't know how good he has it. to be free of the social expectations she had to conform to, to be able to love girls openly and honestly, to have a solid sense of identity. to be able to confidently say “i am isao komori.” and not have to question which name to use or which gender to perform. conjuring up this scenario in which she is actually komori who woke up in mari's body is such an incredible way to describe how detached she feels from her own body, her own self. and while her identity crisis is so reflective of the trans experience, at least my Own a lot of the time, i don't actually think mari is trans. what i found fascinating about this concept is that she plays with gender during her identity crisis to reconcile with the fact that she likes girls: it is much more socially acceptable for boys to like girls than girls to like girls, which is why i think mari is drawn to komori in this way. so, i think she's actually just a lesbian. but i love that this manga series allowed for her to explore gender in this way, i think it's so valuable for stories to incorporate concepts like this. i think that's all i have to say for now, i hope I didn't miss anything. oh and, one more thing. the illustrations in this series are fucking incredible. it's the first time i've actually noticed the difference intentional paneling makes when telling a story in this format, and god does this author make use out of it. the art style is soft and makes everyone look so human, and the paneling create a sense of pace and dramatic flair that i never thought was possible. i'm honestly in love with this story and will be recommending it to all my cool queer friends until the day i die.

also, this medium article includes scans of the afterword to volume one of inside mari, which not only made me extremely emotional but also got me to pick up the series at first... also if you end up reading this series through this media log somehow please please please talk to me about it i'm dying to converse with someone about how beautiful this series is...

# tv
x

date: jan 11 2024

status: completed

shiny happy people

this was absolutely heartbreaking to watch and listen to. i had remembered seeing ads for 19 kids and counting when i was a kid, back when i watched cable tv. and to see how they were living all that time is sickening. the way they described the IBLP "turning every father into a cult leader" was just absolutely horrifying... overall i thought the series was really well done and what they have to say is very valuable..

# film
x

date: jan 10 2024

status: completed

greener grass

this movie was absolutely mind boggling. when i finished it the first time i immediately re-watched it again with my friend lola because what the fuck. this movie was so good it's shocking. i am just so amazed at how these women wrote this story and all its surrealism. it's incredible. this movie is about a lot of things but the main themes that stood out to me the most were. what it means to be a woman. and the colonial hellscape that is suburbia. jill the people pleaser is a character that was just soo relatable. the way she bent over backwards to make everyone around her happy, and how the neglect of her own feelings are reinforced by everyone around her (when she's struggling to cope with her son becoming a dog and her husband is like.. can you not make this about yourself?) telling that one lady she named her daughter madison after the neighbor's mother when she literally didn't... she just wanted to make her feel good when jill was the one who needed to be consoled. it's so well done it's a little heartbreaking.

colonialism as the other underlying theme in this movie was so fascinating.. with the two classroom scenes on the western expansion, the 'i don't mean to be an indian giver', lisa stealing jill's baby, little helen stealing jill's house, playing soccer on a graveyard, the horse skeleton found in her backyard... throughout the entire movie we're given glimpses of the death and the irreversible aftermath of what american colonialism did to indigenous communities. it's like. suburbia is hell because of capitalism & colonialism and this culture of needing to conform and be better than everyone else at the same time. but it's void and empty at its heart because it's built on death and carnage. and it's enough to drive anybody mad. ugh there's just so much to this movie i want to write a more structured Thing about it but i don't think i will. too tired lmao. but like. god this movie was Insanely incredible.

also that fucking ending?! probably the best ending to a movie i've ever seen in my entire life. jill goes through this entire experience where it feels like she's breaking free from the cycle of hollow absurdity that is her suburban life (something to be said about the 'mating in captivity' book she reads/recommends in the movie) but she ultimately ends up going back to where she came from. but not in the same social position. it's probably the only time i've actually really liked a pessimistic? ending to a story. because at the end of the day, while she went back to this life she tried to leave, it's still a pretty great fuckign life. materially speaking? i don't really know. that's why i love this movie so much.

# animanga
x

date: dec 22 2023

status: completed

smoking behind the supermarket with you

i can't believe i completely forgot to log this! glad i remembered now.. this wholesome manga unexpectedly hooked me and i am already itching for the next volume to come out. i love sasaki and the simple relief he gets from his emotional support retail clerk.. it's so relatable. i too have an emotional support retail clerk that makes my day when she recognizes me and says hi. it does a lot for us tired working folk.... lol. anyways. he is very fun, sweet, relatable. and tayama! the coolest girl ever! she's so silly and funny and i really enjoy her antics. i'm excited to see how they navigate their Adult Loneliness i feel like she and sasaki genuinely like each other a lot, so. i need more!! i also need tayama to hurry up and tell sasaki about her Secret.. i can only put up with the hannah montana bit for so long... that's probably the only eh i feel about this series.

# tv
x

date: jan 08 2024

status: completed

fleabag

i started and finished this show so fast i almost forgot to log this one too.. fleabag (the show) is really funny. but also pretty sad. fleabag (the character) and her best friend boo's storyline made me really emotional. i didn't like claire at first but she grew on me pretty fast. i was so proud to see her chase after the man of her dreams in an airport or whatever.. she deserves happiness too. and so does fleabag. i'm not sure if this is getting another season but i hope it does.. i'd like to see more of this disaster woman and i want to see her get a happy ending too.

# film
x

date: jan 06 2024

status: completed

love exposure (2008)

i had literally no expectations for this movie going in. all i had read was the letterboxd summary and that was convoluted enough to get me interested. we got the porn industry, cross dressing, lesbians, gender identity and expression, kung fu and crime, and catholic guilt. and then you watch the movie and you realize the summary left out daddy issues and cult trauma. for a movie to cover all that. can you guess how long the movie would have to be? four hours. now i know this would probably turn off so many people. but i'm different. [homelander voice] i'm better! the best and only way to watch this would be in one sitting. which is very doable. the movie was Surprisingly really well paced. i was genuinely engaged the whole time and i never felt like the pacing was too slow or too rushed. i could give a summary here, for those of you reading this who are slightly interested but don't have 4 hours to spare. but i won't. that would make this already lengthy entry about three thousand words longer and google is free. i'm just going to talk about the transness and the lesbians. let me preface by saying this was made in 2008! an explicitly trans lesbian movie made in 2008! that's actually good (in general and for 2008)! a huge moment for me was at the very beginning, where yu loses a bet and has to dress up as a girl as “punishment”.. but yu ends up really enjoying it! “i walked like a cool chick,” he says. “i loved to be in drag. it made me feel good.” this happens before he even meets his love interest. why is that important? well. it would be so much easier, but hold way less meaning for the writers to have continued to go with the “dress up as a girl as a Punishment” bit and only have yu rely on the cross dressing as a means to get the girl he wants. but they didn't do that! he loved this new expression of gender all on his own. no motivations or influences or outside factors attached. it was genuine. he even gives this new persona a name. miss scorpion. who he falls back on when he needs to feel safe and strong. yu didn't think he was enough to break yoko out of the cult brainwashing. he felt he could only save her as miss scorpion. not just the woman yoko fell in love with, but as the woman who could beat up the bad guys and the woman who yu felt safe confronting yoko in. if that makes sense. yu and miss scorpion and yoko are so important to me. and this is weaved throughout the entire story, and in a way Confirmed at the end. when yu is in the psychiatric hospital he goes by miss scorpion— when he sort of loses it the person he feels safest and most comfortable as is miss scorpion.. not yu. i think there's meaning to that. it is undeniable that yu is a girl and that he and yoko are lesbians. like, how shapeshifting as a fictional ability is basically used to mean transness, breaking your lover out of psych wards is most definitely supposed to mean lesbianism. if you get it, Great. if you don't, watch riverdale. i think my only ick with the movie was that they wrote this story as a “young SA victim 'turns' lesbian as a result of her trauma” and the “i thought i was a lesbian, but I was just confused” trope, but in my opinion at least, the genuine transgender character arc and expression in the movie outweighs that. but like, it's still a valid criticism.

i think the theme of cults and organized religion was really interesting. i loved the way in which all three main characters were actually so much more similar than they seem at first glance, as well as their reactions to their similar traumas as they were growing up. the obsession with whiteness when it came to yu's dad and the Catholic Church was really interesting too. i'm not sure if the writers intended to comment on western Christianity and white supremacy, because other than the few lines of dialogue between yu and his father, it wasn't really mentioned again. but then again, there were so many religious references that went over my head because im not christian or catholic. what i really loved was that it brought up the hypocrisies of how people practice organized religion and at the same time come back to the idea that the most important thing about any worship is to do it from a place of love. which reminded me a lot of the major themes in the bleeding of the stone by Ibrahim Al-Koni. the moment where yoko recited Corinthians XIII at the beach while Beethoven's 7th Symphony in A Major, Op. 92: II. Allegretto plays in the background was one of my favorite moments in any movie i've ever watched..

on another note, the cinematography in this movie was insanely beautiful and campy. perhaps i'll add more here but for now. this is my new absolute favorite movie ever.. along with frozen 2 and DEBS.

# tv
x

date: jan 03 2024

status: completed

gen v

it was a cute show.... but i did not like it as much as the boys. which is unfortunate because this show should have been just as good or even better... but it was just very average. my biggest disappointment was that none of the characters were insane red flags. they were too normal. their problems were normal their conflicts were normal. nobody was killing anybody for funsies! it just felt like a regular teen show. i'll still #tunein for the rest of the series because i didn't hate it... i was just expecting it to be as intense and campy as the boys... jordan is my favorite they were the main reason i watched the whole thing. i think the reason i feel so shrugs about this is because i made the terrible mistake of watching this Immediately after the boys. oops

# tv
x

date: dec 31 2023

status: completed

the boys

holy shit i just watched all three seasons of this in exactly three days. right before the year ends. watching this show was a wild experience. from the exploding people to the weird sex to the bizarre psychological issues with these guys.. i loved it all.

homelander... oh homelander. he is such a fun character. scared the living hell out of me in the beginning, and still does. just in a very different way now. i appreciate his Brand of fucked up in the head and i really had fun watching him break down over the course of the first three seasons. it's very satisfying to watch a character's mental state unravel slowly like a ball of yarn, and this show portrayed it so well! and the actor too. the way you can see the Pained look in his eyes... and it's like. for what. whyyy. homelander is nuts. i love him.

i laughed Out Loud when i first saw erik kripke's name in the credits of this show. supernatural follows me everywhere i go. and then i see bobby fuckign singer. and then jensen ackles. it's just too funny. this show was made for me.

jensen as soldier boy was also soooo fun and exciting to watch. i loved him in this role. it was pretty jarring because the only other thing i've ever seen ackles in was supernatural. so to see my lovely dean winchester, the people's princess, the truest soul and the most Good character... also have the same face as fucking soldier boy the war criminal and enthusiastic brain smasher who smokes weed to cope with his untreated ptsd was a hilarious experience. they wouldn't even let him say fuck in supernatural!

something i wondered a Lot when i was watching this is how it will age in the future. they had soo many news and current events references throughout the whole show (the pepsi BLM commercial, lots of trump stuff, covid discourse references.. etc) i wonder if people who watch this in like twenty years will catch those references? not sure if that's a silly thing to even Wonder... but i still wonder...

also, props to The Boys for being the only show/thing Ever in my whole life to get me to like a french person. seriously. i couldn't (still can't) stomach listening to the language unless it's coming from frenchie's mouth. now it's fuck the french except for frenchie. him and kimiko were my favorite duo in the whole series. their love moved me, seriously. thinking about them for too long made me so emotional. i really just loved watching the both of them care for each other after all the horrors they've been though both individually and together. i just love seeing love found in the most unlikely of places. i will be tuned into this weird ass show when season 4 comes out...

# animanga
x

date: dec 25 2023

status: completed

my new boss is goofy

i literally never click on whatever crunchyroll's algorithm decides to recommend to me because it's usually bad, but i just. very randomly decided to go with with this new weekly that literally piloted yesterday? and it's safe to say that this was the right move. this is just such a cute little show about a guy who's had a horribly abusive boss and is currently starting at a new job! he's still very traumatized from his old job experience but his new stoic yet very goofy boss is showering him with kindness that momose doesn't really know what to do with. it's just so sweet watching his boss, shirosaki, teach him that it's okay to make mistakes as he creates the healthiest work environment for this new employee! it's so wholesome. i will be tuning into this weekly.

saturdays are my new favorite day of the week. shirosaki making the ad that led momose to gather the courage to switch companies brought me to tears. this is the most wholesome series ever i haven't experienced such a Raw serotonin boost from a tv show in so long.. they make me so happy! waaah °˖✧◝(⁰▿⁰)◜✧˖°

christmas update: looks like that's a wrap for season one! i really hope they come out with a season 2 soon. this show is so comforting and wholesome i've never seen anything like it. i usually end up hating fluff/wholesome shows like these because they always tend to get extremely boring but this, this is just perfect. idk what they're doing right here but whatever it is, it's working. the characters are all perfect and funny and feel so real. and they're so sweet. this show is literally just therapy for me.

# film
x

date: dec 10 2023

status: completed

belladonna of sadness

i really enjoyed this watch. i didn't know what to expect, as i went into this movie completely blind, but i ended up really liking it. it's unfortunate that Jeanne's entire life and story is dictated by and influenced by the men around her, and the tragedy of it all is that her character and development are spurred on by sexual assault and violence. but what I really liked about the story was the emotional aspect of it all. while i'm usually supportive of the idea that rape scenes are not necessary to tell stories about these themes, the abstract and more artistic depictions of the tragic scenes in belladonna of sadness didn't glamorize or fetishize the assault, which is usually what happens in media. i thought it was more reflective of jeanne's emotional experiences rather than the king's power over her. this video essay touches on what i mean. also, one of my favorite quotes from the movie:

your soul was screaming. i laughed, i thought i'd never laugh again. the darkness invites and seduces me. spit on by all. i want to become a horrifying woman, i want people to turn away in horror when i pass by in the street, i don't want to forget anger and hatred! who says anger and hatred are ugly? you are more beautiful than god.

this just resonated with me a lot. it felt real and genuine and I loved it, and this was my favorite moment of the whole movie. also, the animation and the music were both god-tier. from the couple of reviews i've seen, even the ones who hated the movie couldn't argue against how insanely beautiful the animation and soundtrack is. not even just “for its time” but of all time, and i agree with that. also, found it very funny that Satan was a literal dickhead. i loved it.

# literature
x

date: dec 8 2023

status: completed

my year of rest of relaxation by ottessa moshfegh

i believe i could do this hibernation thing for a week. i believe it would fix me. real thoughts are i really loved this book a lot. it had no plot really, but it's sort of the point. i took this less as a Story and more as book about a Feeling. kind of felt like, ennui for girls. i think part of why i latched onto this book so hard is that i am currently in a rough place right now (filled with existential dread, stressed out finals season, unsure of what my future looks like, blah blah blah) so i just really resonate with her desire to barely be conscious and fast forward a year of her life. i liked the narrator she's very strange and mean, but very relatable. i was very shocked to see how it ended, i can't believe it actually worked for her. i honestly thought she'd die at the end but i'm glad she didn't. it's very fitting for her fucked up personality that seeing reva die on television was the final lose end she needed to cut to truly live her life, goes to show how much she valued their friendship, lmao. anyways i loved it, but i know it's not for everybody.

# literature
x

date: dec 6 2023

status: completed

milk fed by melissa broder

what a weird book! i really enjoyed it. i was really hooked in the beginning with the way Broder writes rachel's fucked up thought process, and i liked how despite all her weirdness, she was very relatable. i really loved the way she talked about food, she captured the Obsession aspect of eating disorders in a really fascinating way. i also really valued the way she navigated her relationship with food and with religion. food is usually a central pillar in religion and spirituality, like how the abrahamic trio fast for their special holidays and stuff, so i liked reading rachel's experience navigating her food struggles and her religion struggles at the same time. it was a cool way of intertwining the two.. Spheres. i also really loved the mealtimes with miriam's family even if it ended badly for her, i feel it was rly Good to see rachel have these moments of growth be grounded in food, even indirectly. i enjoyed the way her healing process was written. the biggest thing that sort of turned me off was the way the smut was a little too repetitive? i just felt like i was hearing the same sequence three times over towards the end. but maybe that's just cause i felt weird listening to like.. forty minutes of porn in audiobook form. like, i enjoy reading about bad sex (lol) and i really loved that first weird fantasy with ana i thought it said a Lot about rachel and her issues but towards the end it just got meh. but i'm not knocking it down too much because of that because i feel like reading the physical copy might be a different experience. at least, i hope. also while i'm happy for rachel's end as a Character i thought the book itself ended really weirdly.. it was so abrupt! i hadn't realized the book ended i had to re-listen to the last couple chapters to make sure i didn't miss anything! i think conceptually it was really good. appreciated the weirdness aspect. felt like Broder sort of.. got lost along the way. many good moments. more like 3.5 stars.

# tv
x

date: dec 2 2023

status: completed

escaping twin flames

my friend recommended this three episode cult documentary yesterday, and i really enjoyed the watch. i am fascinated by cults in general so this was right up my alley. twin flames universe operates under the guise of helping people find their twin flame, so you can see how easily it would be to deeply emotionally and psychologically fuck with people who are trying to find love. a former member got a hold of his google drive with all the recordings of their meetings to make this documentary. this leader, jeff, is truly evil and i felt insane just watching him talk to these people. he'd fend off any and all resistance to his.. Methods.. by just being like "nobody caressssss" like. he really thinks what he is doing is not that big of a deal.. watching this put me through a Rollercoaster of emotions. i am really glad to see the people involved in this documentary are healing from the horrors they've experienced. the one who touched me the most was Marlee. hearing her talk about what she's doing now that she's out just made me really emotional. i cried seeing everyone taking steps towards healing and the statistics about trans people and trans joy. anyways it was a good watch i think they made this documentary with a lot of care and it was done well. jeff will burn in hell for what he's done.

# tv
x

date: nov 15 2023

status: dropped

river monsters

i started watching this because it was my favorite tv show to watch as a child. when i was little i used to keep a journal of every single creature he caught and would do a page profile.. fun facts.. stats.. and stuff like that. i'm really sad i threw away that notebook it would have been fun to look through it now. anyways i really liked that show as a kid and got so excited when i found it on hbo.

the one thing i found really amusing about this show is how jeremy wade sets up each episode like it's a true crime show where he's hunting the Killer River Monster and spends the entire episode tracking down this creature and stuff and when he finally catches it? he lets it go. it's hilarious..

however the sad part about rewatching this show now is that every episode i am realizing how racist? this show is. i sort of knew it would be vaguely racist given the whole show is this white guy going into remote south asian and african communities to fish and gawk at their culture... typical anthropologist behaviors and such.. but what made me drop the show completely was when he caught a fish and refused to give it to the community to eat because he cared more for the fish's life than the "starving village" he's been talking about for the entire episode. it was just weird. don't re-watch your favorite childhood tv shows guys...

# tv
x

date: nov 8 2023

status: currently watching

glee

i regret being such a hater about this show without having ever watched it. i always used to say i wouldn't like glee because of the singing. because i had assumed the singing would be bad or average like how it is on riverdale. but no. i was so wrong. the singing is incredible i am baffled at how Actually Good this entire cast is. glee is incredible. glee is everything. it's camp. it's hilarious. it's so gay. sue sylvester is my favorite woman. she is funny and cruel and evil and she hates will as much as i do. we're soulmates, in a way. she also reminds me so much of mundane!au kenny it's hilarious. also she got ordained and married herself to herself? i did that in 2018 before i knew what glee even was. that's a kind of spiritual resonance i will never achieve with anyone else ever. i'm on season 3 now... enjoying it a lot so far. i'm watching it as i write this actually.

# animanga
x

date: nov 4 2023

status: completed

lycoris recoil

now this. is probably one of the best written most beautiful shows i've watched all year. i'm not feeling my best right now so just know whatever i say will not do this series justice you'll just have to watch it for yourself to understand. i love me a show with cute girls wielding guns. like madoka magica! but this is less tragic. still full of angst but with a happy ending can you believe it. real yuri not queerbait. and the girls aren't super weirdly hyper-sexualized! they are given the space to be cute and romantic and check each other out without being weirdly horny about it which is... unheard of for an anime lmfao. it's incredible i am so grateful. and i'm not one of those people who doesn't consider a relationship to be "canon" if they don't come out and outright say they're girlfriends but.. they did that here! they're literally girlfriends! out loud! it's so amazing. girls loving girls with a real plot too i know i haven't mentioned it yet but it's only cause it's an actual complex plot i can't explain in my current state. i'm just tired. the side characters are also beautifully developed for such a short series too! the tomato head guy who's name i forget is wonderful i love him. his sibling dynamic with chisato means so much to me. and the satosugu-esque tragic yaoi side story they had going on with mika and that white guy? incredible. i just love how they said the yaois can be gay and die but yuri will live forever. they're just sooo real for that! anyways i loved this show i will definitely be rewatching this later. my girls ♡

# tv
x

date: oct 21 2023

status: currently watching

alice in borderland

i just finished episode three.... what the hell man. more later i just.. need a moment.

# tv
x

date: oct 19 2023

status: completed

suits

my coworker buddy recommended this show for me to watch as i data entry away and to be honest. i didn't think i'd like it that much. it felt like succession but bad. however. i was wrong. i am so invested! comparing it to succession never made sense they're very different shows. i like suits a lot. the characters are very likeable. my favorites so far are donna (icon), harvey (the gojo satoru of pearson LLC), and louis litt (my favorite little rat man). this is technically a critique(?) but i find it amusing that these actors seem to have so little chemistry with each other that every romantic subplot feels like i'm watching robots pretending to be sims flirt with each other. oooh schlorba! (10-15 edit: i've now realized this really only applies to megan markle.. i'm sorry she is So gorgeous and a great person like in general... i guess. but acting is just sooo not her special skill..... i also just can't stand her character) except for donna, she's a star. anyways i find it amusing. nothing can convince me mike and rachel actually like each other.. i might have to stop watching it at work though, because i'm too into this show and it's distracting... one season down. eight more to go?

this show has officially entered the brainrot stage.. donna and harvey have quite literally put me in the trenches. i'm feeling stsg.. dare i say nanageto level chest pains right now over them. they are the only ones who understand real love. i am feeling so emotional over these two..... they are so special to me. the real stars of the show.

now that i've finished all 8 seasons i can say that was such an entertaining show!! i loved obsessing over it for the past... week. i really sped through this. the one time i felt disappointed was when they got mike out of jail and harvey offered him to work there as a consultant this time so it's legal and i was just like. what the hell! if this was an option why didn't they just do this the first time. what was the point of any of it. but i got over it. i'm going to be honest when i say i truly did not care all that much for mike and rachel. i just didn't think rachel was a likeable character at all, and started to get really sick of her when the only time she'd appear on screen was to wail and cry about the fact that she loves mike! so much! like. i get it. it just didn't seem like her character had much to offer. and because she was always with mike i just stopped being interested in him after he got out of prison. which makes it really amusing for me that the writers just cast them aside for the last season and focused on who i was really watching this for, donna and harvey. i have weird feelings about the completeness of the ending i guess, but i just am glad that harvey got the happy ending he deserved.

# animanga
x

date: oct 09 2023

status: completed

noragami (anime)

i feel like this entry deserves a lot more brainpower than i am able to give it right now, but i don't want to leave it out so i'll just have to half-ass this for now. noragami is honestly, probably my favorite anime of all time. i've never seen a story be treated with so much love and care. i especially love how all the character dynamics are written, each and every character is just filled with so much love. for each other, as characters themselves. it makes me very emotional. highlights of Peak Emotion from me were: the development of kazuma and veena's relationship & surprisingly, ebisu's story. i don't think there's anything in this world that can make me feel the way kazuma and veena feel about each other. they are my favorite display of love, ever. and i was surprised about how much i connected to ebisu's character. i usually don't like his type, but again-- the way he was written with so much love leaves me no choice but to love him! his reincarnation concept was fascinating and done so well. my favorite thing about noragami is that it shows us how powerful and important love can be, outside of a romantic sense of it. love is always understood as mostly romantic, but the love we see in noragami is both that and not, all of it and so much more. i'm going to be reading the manga soon and i am excited for the real brainrot to seep in.

# animanga
x

date: oct 09 2023

status: currently reading

gambling apocalypse: kaiji

i started reading this series cause mizu recommended it to me and because i was very intrigued by the art style. it's such a fun series i am so glad i discovered this silly gem. i am fond of kaiji and his pathetic man nature, and i really enjoy the intensity of the games- it reminds me of squid games, i wonder if the show got some of their inspo from this series. probably not but... maybe. i find it funny that it took four volumes for kaiji to get through this crazy game of rock paper scissors, only to not win. that's my guy! i don't think this series will actually go there, but i hope these experiences have kaiji lead to the conclusion that the solution to all his problems would be communist revolution. he's honestly like, halfway there already. around volume 6 he started talking about wealth distribution so i was like... i see you kaiji.. the dots are connecting. although i really don't think that will happen. this is more of a silly marxist comparative analysis take. anyways, i really enjoy this series. kaiji is fun.

# literature
x

date: sept 27 2023

status: completed

the secret history by donna tartt

do you ever read a book that changes you so drastically you can't pick up another book for few weeks? that's what happened to me after reading the secret history. i did not consume this book, the book consumed me. once i started i could not put it down! diving into this pretentious academic old school environment made me realize how much i love school, in a weird way. i guess i just really wish i had a tight-knit group of School Mates and i got to experience a piece of that through this story, despite how terribly things ended up for them... i was absolutely enamoured by henry winter since the very beginning (thank you to richard, our wonderfully fruity unreliable narrator!) and my love for him only grew once we got to see how insane this lad is. i was really charmed by his seemingly stoic and uptight demeanor at first while also at the same time learning that he is Very superstitious, and that he monologues about hypothetical plans to take over the school! i know i worded that terribly but for someone who was initially introduced as this super logical and cold guy, i really enjoyed seeing him be silly. and murderous. his cult leader vibes enchanted me. i am not immune. the prose was so fun and packed with ancient greek references i do not understand (yet) so i am glad that this is a re-readable book. i'm seriously looking at some classics classes for next semester because of how much this story impacted me... just. so good. need to find more books like this...

# literature
x

date: sept 21 2023

status: completed

boy parts by eliza clark

this is for sure one of my favorite books i've read all year. such an addicting page-turner, i got through almost all of it in one day. irina is my favorite female lead main character. deeply flawed, mean, completely and utterly unreliable, yet also... horrifyingly relatable. and funny! i can't even bring myself to hate her. reading as she goes through the motions of repeating the cycles of violence in her own fucked up way was really enjoyable. i'm not sure how to explain it just yet, but the way clark writes makes me feel like i'm in her head. despite doing awful terrible things, it was really fun to see her desperate desire to feel real, through her breakdown. to be taken seriously. Do I have to smash a glass over the head of every single man I come into contact with, just so I leave a fucking mark?

and good God did i not see that big reveal coming. i'm not sure i want to fully spoil the Reveal, but i will say. my jaw was on the floor when irina (re?)discovers the old polaroid pictures with all the boy parts. this moment had so many striking similarities to how the big reveal in OMORI was done, so i appreciated this in so many different ways. ever since reading minor detail by adania shibli, i've been a huge fan of gothic elements in stories like these. the inability to tell what's real from what's imagined in irina's mind was so fun to read, and even better when i go back to reread, which i already plan to do very soon. i feel like now that i know the full story, rereading will let me notice so many more times where irina's sense of reality was destabilized. i am very excited to reread this beautiful work. very dark but very good.

# literature
x

date: sept 15 2023

status: completed

black foam by sawad hussain

i almost forgot to log this book on here, i guess you can tell it didn't really Leave A Mark. so i'll keep this short? no point in trying to pull a bunch of words outta my ass for this. the book was fine, i got through it pretty fast. the story was somewhat interesting? i do think it was really cool that i got an advanced copy for free though (thanks arab lit mag!). my favorite part was when dawoud's interview with the evil white man turned into a 1001 nights trope. but i just didn't personally connect with a story or the characters all that much. for most of the time i spent reading the book, i just kept thinking about how season of migration to the north was better. but like... i didn't hate it.

# film
x

date: sept 1st 2023

status: completed

the fly (1986)

what a fantastic movie! wowie! i really had fun watching this. i didn't expect early stage brundlefly to be so funny about turning into a bug. he was absolutely hilarious despite also being so miserable about it all.. it's quite heartbreaking if you think about it, actually. my favorite line was when he said "i am an insect, who dreamed he was a man and loved it. but now the dream is over, and the insect is awake." lots of queer gender thoughts to be had about this movie. the movie strangely does a great job at articulating how it can feel to hate the way your body is developing. it's interesting to watch Brundle struggle with living in a body he doesn't want. the guy kept his penis in a jar in his medicine cabinet for... historical purposes. for christ's sake! i would have really liked to see Brundle rub his hands together like a fly, though. i also thought brundlefly's final evolution was strangely cute. i would have kept him as a pet if it were up to me. it's the eyes! they made him adorable...

# videogame
x

date: aug 26th 2023

status: completed

little nightmares (1)

i went into this game completely blind, so i really didn't know what to expect. i had such a fun time exploring the environments, i really loved how cartoonishly tall all the furniture and rooms are in the house areas, and how my character has to move stuff around to reach high doorknobs and things like that. it had a really child-like perspective to it but that didn't take away from the eeriness of the experience, either. i hope that makes sense, the feeling is hard to describe. i am a huge fan of the grotesque monsters we meet in this game, especially the janitor guy with the wicked long arms and the twin chefs! i found them so adorable i really wish they had plushies out of these guys that i could buy.. i am surprised at how short the game is, i finished it in around four hours. i might try to go back later and see if i missed anything, but it seemed to me that it's just a short game. i also wish there was more of a story, but that's just because i love stories. i plan on playing the second game soon, though. i can't wait to see where this series takes me.

# animanga
x

date: aug. 23rd 2023

status: currently reading & watching

jujutsu kaisen

i find it very amusing that my media log entry for one of my most favorite animanga series is so lame.. well good thing i have a shrine dedicated to jujutsu kaisen to make up for this sorry entry...

august update: i'm coming back to this entry after watching gojo's past arc animated in season 2. i think the animators did a beautiful job. it was so refreshing to see gojo and geto's childhood memories in such bright colors. gojo really remembered his youth fondly. it's really telling given his belief that youth should never be taken away from children... despite reading and rereading this arc in the manga so many times, watching it felt like an entirely new experience. the music was funky but really good. i thought it was really intentionally composed. the detail i'm currently latching onto is the scene where nanami throws a stool across the room when he gets news of haibara's death. it was so jarring to see teen nanami, who seems so composed, display such raw emotion. it was so heartbreaking to see nanami's own anger with jujutsu society, when he mentions the mission wasn't meant for a sorcerer at his level.. they were only kids, after all.. this scene always reminds me of the tidbit we got from the official fan-book, where it says that nanami doesn't blame geto for becoming a curse user. nanami was angry too. it's why he left.

this story is so tragic. in the most beautiful way. i love being reminded of words and memories of the past as the story develops. like how yorozu's words seem to live on and get repeated during gojo's fight with sukuna. like how gojo's present day morals and goals are exactly what geto's were when they first met, as kids. gege seems to like doing this too, so i'm glad we're on the same page. watching the anime made me very emotional about this again. i can't wait to see where this story goes after this...

march entry: i used to be so normal about jjk since i first started watching the anime last year. but with the way this story has been developing i've gotten so obsessed with it? it's like a delayed reaction almost.. shibuya arc was absolutely devastating (#shibuyasurvivor), i read the whole thing in two days with my hand clutching my chest the whole time... can't think about it for too long or else i'll get nauseous. now i am caught up on the culling game arc where my biggest issue is getting attached to characters (higuruma.. kirara, hikari, kaori & jin, and now yorozu... my darlings) who either will never show up again or die a horrible brutal devastating tragic death... gege is a wicked man... worst of all is that my Favorite character in the entire series is kenjaku. who is sure to meet his demise sooner or later... pray 4 me and all the #kennyfansinternational... i wish gege would let my babies be happy..... meguyujibara NEED a happy ending or else... or else..... or else!!!! [explodes]!!!!!

# literature
x

date: aug 21st 2023

status: completed

the scum villain's self-saving system (1) by mo xiang tong xiu

i brought this with me on my trip to morocco as my Official Summer Read but i didn't have much time to read while i was over there. overall i'd say this book was Alright. the writing felt cheesy at times and for a while in the middle i was starting to get bored of it. however, i do really like how this volume ended, so i'm not fully giving up hope. i really want to see how luo binghe's development diverges from his "fate" and all... i have a feeling it will get better from here. i plan on reading something else before picking up the second volume of this series, though. so, not too bad. but not too good either.

# film
x

date: aug 19th 2023

status: completed

the handmaiden (extended version)

knowing how to start this entry is so hard because WOW. i really loved the handmaiden. iwatched the extended version without realizing it and i think that was the best decision i've ever made because i truly lost myself in this movie, if that makes any sense. from the beginning i fell in love with the cool cinematography. i loved how they knew exactly when to linger on a specific shot. it made me feel like i was living those moments too. the viewer almost seemed like a curious onlooker for a lot of it, which i thought was cool. one moment in particular that stood out to me so much was when sookee, hideko, and the fujiwara imposter were running off so hideko and fujiwara could get married, and on the way they showed hideko eating one grain of rice at a time. followed by them walking up the steps to the designated place and hideko is behind them all, climbing one step at a time. i read that as hideko wanting to postpone or stall this marriage as much as possible as a Show of how much she did not want to marry this man. i just thought portraying those feelings in that way was so beautiful. one of the coolest moments in the movie, in my opinion.

speaking of the fujiwara imposter, my feelings for him dramatically flip flopped after the plot twist where we learn that him and hideko had actually established a business-y relationship/agreement between themselves. i loved that he had no power in any of the relationships he was in, and i will never forget his Final Scene. i still think he's a shitty guy, but i will always be amused by him asking for cigs mid-torture session and smoking mercury to get out of his sticky situation.

i loved the switching back and forth between korean and japanese, and i think it says a lot about language as a form of intimacy. specifically in regards to how hideko and sookee communicated with each other versus how they each spoke to other people. it was beautifully reflective of not only class but also relationship dynamics too. i wish i had learned more about japanese korean history before watching this (beyond surface level information), i would have liked to see how that was incorporated into the film (as i'm sure it was, it just would have went over my head)...

my only ick was that the last sex scene felt like it was written by a man who has never spoken to a lesbian in real life. the other ones were great, though. but this wasn't worth taking a star off. the scissoring was just, like, whatever.

overall i am so happy with this movie and the way the story was told. i seriously didn't think my girls would have a happy ending! but they did! too many years of consuming toxic doomed yaoi had dimmed my hope for happy endings. but yuri always saves the day. god bless.

# tv
x

date: aug 15th 2023

status: currently watching

hello, my twenties!

i started the first two episodes of hello, my twenties! on the plane and i'm hooked! thank you to my friend carlea for this recommendation. so far the show is sooo cute. ye eun was not a favorite of mine at first, but she is starting to slowly grow on me. i adore the rest of the girls so much. if i had to pick, i'd say ji won is my number one favorite character. she is so fun and lively and funny and i will never understand why it's so hard for her to get a boyfriend.. she's perfect! my favorite moment so far was her teaching eun jae how to let loose and dance. she's just such a great person. i understand why eun jae idolizes her so much...

# animanga
x

date: aug 3rd 2023

status: currently reading

the summer hikaru died

i'm now all caught up on the summer hikaru died and i am a huge fan of it already! the first chapter hooked me. i really love the body horror aspect of the story. as well as the psychological horror! the intimacy of holding your loved one's organs in your hand is something i can really appreciate..

hikaru and yoshiki also remind me so much of kenjaku and jin from jjk... (i've got terminal 'make everything about jjk disease' my bad). but it's really not my fault. they call 'hikaru' lord brain snatcher... like come on! i seem to have a pattern of getting really attached to this trope of "i know it's not you but i'd rather have you like this than not have you at all" and i'm not mad about it. i'm really excited for the english volumes to be released, this is absolutely something i want physical copies of in my bookshelf \(≧▽≦)/

# animanga
x

date: aug 3rd 2023

status: completed

trigun (1998)

i literally just started this but i already have a couple thoughts. firstly, i just read that the first episode released on my birthday. in 1998, though, before i was born. but still! i think vash is so fucking hilarious. the dialogue is really funny, and vash's voice actor is incredible! it's so cool they got the same guy to voice him in the 1998 and the 2023 version. it's so nice to see meryl and millie be animated. god i love them so much!

i think episode 23 was the most batshit insane sequence of events i've ever experienced. they can't expect me to take "will you eat these sandwiches.. with me?" as a serious thing. i can't believe they actually fucked. millie is so unserious.. i think it's really funny that wolfwood stayed up til the sun rose chainsmoking afterwards i wonder what he was thinking about (gay thoughts)

things i like about this version:

  • Millie Thompson
  • Vash being really silly and funny
  • Wolfwood's top tier sleaziness and sliminess
  • Vash and Knives having long hair as kids
  • guitar music

things i did not like about this version:

  • Meryl is a lot dumber
  • Monev should not have had read speaking lines
  • Meryl should never be mean to Millie!!

highlight of the last episode was the flashback of vash nearly crushing knives' head in with a rock. how cain and abel of them. knives would have enjoyed the thought that went into this.

overall i think it was Fine. in my head it exists as a nice little silly adaptation of trigun but i wouldn't say its Good. that sounds mean though. i did still enjoy watching this a lot..

# animanga
x

date: july 12th 2023

status: currently watching

slam dunk

after seeing mizu's posts about slam dunk i've decided to finally start it. i've been really sick the past few days so i figured Now is best time to start it. i really miss older anime actually giving characters lips. i wonder why they don't do that anymore.. i really love our main guy but i wish he'd stop calling the only Black character a gorilla... i know this is 1993 but still..... Not Cool, Man.

i do love how hanamichi's first introduction is him getting rejected for the 50th time! with his friends celebrating for him. always have each other's backs when they need it most. a good group of guys. hanamichi just joined the basketball team so i'm excited how things turn out for him!

# animanga
x

date: july 10th 2023

status: completed

trigun maximum by Yasuhiro Nightow

i downloaded over twelve hours of television to keep me entertained on my six hour flight. instead i read three volumes of trimax and knocked out. enjoy my silly little blurbs as i read each volume throughout the summer.

trimax #1: I wonder how many times Vash will accidentally destroy half a planet and ghost everyone for a few years. I loved seeing Old Man Vash in this trying to live the simple life. Very enjoyable vashwood interactions in this. They're both just sooo weird they were made for each other. Wolfwood is feeling very girlcrush right now. Okay I think we just landed in New York I have no more thoughts.

trimax #2: For someone who calls himself a priest and the devil in the same breath, Wolfwood sure does have a way of acting real omnipresent the way he's always around when Vash is in trouble (though his help is rarely ever actually needed lmfao). I've never seen anyone lose the idgaf war (chainsmoking while replaying the memory of vash calling him a coward over and over again in the middle of the night) so badly and that's a lot coming from me. The reference to their first conversation about Vash's genuine smile and Wolfwood trying to make himself a bigger demon than he actually is “while his own heart cries out” was really good. I had to pause. I think my favorite part of their dynamic is how they just see right through each other! For the most part. From the moment they laid eyes on each other. I think that's pretty neat. Leonof is definitely the most fucked up of the Gung-ho-gun gang.. the puppets of Vash's family falling apart in his hands is just so cruel.. I love the themes of Family in this series. Vash and the family he dedicates his life to honoring, Wolfwood and his kids he kills to be there for (nico niiiiii), Millie and her monthly newsletter to every single one of her extended family members, Knives dedicating his entire life to getting Vash to be by his side. It's all just so good. No real thoughts just Good.

trimax #3: I think it's interesting how the main point of contention between Wolfwood and Vash right now is whether or not it is inevitable to kill. And I think I'm starting to understand both of them and the Issue at large here. I think what pisses Wolfwood off so much— how Vash seems to recklessly sacrifices himself every fight— is that he seems to be able to do this from a point of privilege (I don't think this, I think this is what Wolfwood thinks). I'm starting to see that more with the repetition of WW's logtxt monologue questioning if Vash is Human or Monster. I think the fact that Vash has the abilities to make it through these situations in which he definitely should have died, can be read in one way as he can afford to risk more. Because he knows he'll make it out alive. And Wolfwood is frustrated with his seemingly lack of self-preservation. This might be stupid but that's sorta what I'm getting from his whole "do you not even care what happens to you" vibe. I'm okay with being wrong about this. Also, I like how Wolfwood hasn't realized yet that Vash has no regard for his own well-being. So he's always shaking his fists like Vash whyyy do you do this to yourself and he's like. ☆⌒ヽ(*'、^*)chu I Deserve This. Yeaaaah these guys have got some real issues i love them so much.

trimax #4: wolfwood has gotten more time to shine this volume and i'm loving it. I really enjoyed watching him beat Nine Lives to death. I was wondering when they'd let him do that after all his monologuing about the necessity of murder and killing to survive and blah blah blah. Loved that! And the hospital scenes!! These were my friend's favorite chapters and I can totally see why. They're mine too so far. Wolfwood is finally starting to Conscioulsly (as opposed to subconsciously) understand Vash and why he does what he does. He's so attached it's really fun. Vash loves him a lot clearly, and Wolfwood is just always around and pretending to not enjoy it like “you need me so bad it's embarrassing” (he's projecting). I'm really excited to see more of Knives and his evil plan to uhhhh convince Vash that he was right all along? I love Knives so much he's so silly and so amusing I love every panel that he's in and I hope she shows up more in the next volume. I would love to see more interactions between him and Vash and maybe even Wolfwood too..

trimax #5: Knives will always be such a funny villain because he genuinely thinks Traumatizing Vash even more will surely work in his favor. If his main goal is for him and his brother to work together and be One Team, you'd think he'd be more open to compromise... or at least. Not Traumatizing him every chance he gets. My favorite moment in this volume was this small scene towards the end when Vash claps his hands and bows to pray at the cross, and Wolfwood makes a comment about being in the wrong faith, which reminded me so much of what the bleeding of the stone by ibrahim al-koni is all about. The different ways to pray and worship, the commentary about the “right” and “wrong” way to worship, what the difference it makes as long as you can put “more feeling into it” as Vash says.. I actually thought that moment was really cool. There are lots of connections to be made between Vash as a character and this book actually. I wish I had my book with my notes with me so I could go more in-depth on this... The main character & Vash share similar values on Life and carry radically opposing beliefs to their surrounding character's Kill Maim Destroy (being dramatic here) mindset. Asouf's veganism & Vash's pacifism. Oh wow there's actually so many similarities. Religious themes... struggle between what is good and evil... the twins... Redemption... for Vash and for Cain... I hope I remember these thoughts when I get back home and have the energy to write a paper on this.

trimax #6: vash's struggle with self-forgiveness and guilt reminds me a lot of yuuji's struggles in jujutsu kaisen. i was so excited for livio's introduction in this volume! except we didn't see him much. but i think he'll be around more soon. at least, he better. sped through this one so it feels like a blur.

trimax #7: I really enjoyed comparing the anime adaptation with the manga for a lot of the scenes in this volume. the tessla flashback scene where they detail the horrors they put her through For The Sake Of Science was truly horrifying. Even more fucked up in the manga than it was in the anime. loved seeing knives be just. absolutely insane here. he's so stupid it's really enjoyable for me. loved all the vashwood moments too. the brothers face off yet again I wonder what disaster will follow in their aftermath...

trimax #8: okay this was such an emotional rollercoaster. we see wolfwood try and fail miserably to not gaf as he sees Vash off to his death. Presumably. dramatic goodbyes and all. And after all this time he's spent arguing with Vash on how necessary it is to kill in order to survive, I loved seeing him struggle to do so when it came to Livio (which I was SO happy to see BTW) and with any of the Eye of Micheal... his family.. I know it's mostly because of the brainwashing and conditioning he's been through, but another big part of it is that he was essentially made Parent to all of those children since he was 8 years old. So obviously, there's no way he'd be able to kill them so easily. Especially Livio. God, those Eye of Micheal guys are so evil. “I beg you.. the young ones.. all I wanted was to save them..” was so brutal. But what was even more emotionally devastating was Vash's “that man bet his life on me. He feared death twice as much as the others.. and did his best to hold onto life. You really think I care whether I win or not? He is reason enough to fight.” Oh I wanted to bash my head into the wall. We've already seen that Wolfwood would do anything for Vash, but this coming from Vash was so good to see. Also, that Wolfwood spinoff chapter HURT ME SO BAD.. visiting his kids from the orphanage who don't remember him because they were only babies and because he grew up so much made me so miserable. Every time I see those cult indoctrination flashbacks I feel so miserable.. man..... Wolfwood......

trimax #9: LIVIO RAZLO WOLFWOOD FIGHT WAS SOOOO GOOD. more cult content i really loved to see. it is so fucked up that those orphans didn't recognize wolfwood when he saw them again... when one of them was like "i think i knew him when i was younger but.. he shouldn't be that old" a part of me died. wolfwood giving livio a hug trying to get to him.. just so good. i loved seeing razlo he is so much fun. he's really just there to protect livio the only way he knows how (the bad way). i was thinking about how fucked up he is because the only people he has ever had contact with were 1. that evil chapel guy and 2. whichever group of people that would beat up and abuse livio. so he has had 0 socialization besides. protect livio. kill everyone who gets in your way. me personally, i loved seeing my fav guy Wolfwood get pumped full of bullets and then stand back up. i really like how they set this up as a battle between wolfwood's past and present. both literally (livio representing who he was, versus him now) and thematically (?) (wolfwood's internal monologue battle between what he has Always Known and what he loves about vash) it's just so good. i am so excited but so nervous for volume 10..

trimax #10: i will never be the same.

trimax #11: as devastating as the last volume was, I'm really grateful for the new livio & vash friendship. their bond means so much to me. I was so happy to see millie and Meryl reunite with vash, but the pages where Millie cries because she didn't get to say Goodbye to wolfwood made me tear up for realsies. The paneling, her expression right before she starts to cry.. Vash unable to look her in the eye because he knows his face will give it all away.. everything about that was incredible. Also. Zazie pulling a control bug out of her cooch was the LAST thing I expected out of this volume. Appreciated, though. Meryl & Vash's special fist bump made me cry. It's just. Too cute. And the fact that I now know the story behind Livio's hat makes me love him so much more (than I already did).

trimax #12: OH. knives.. really doesn't like having guns pointed at him, huh.. this fight between vash and knives so fucking Beautifully written I'm going to throw up. Vash trying to protect human life and stop knives from Arrogantly pulling the trigger Only for the military to do just that.. oh man that was so good I had to close my eyes for a bit and let that simmer. Their conflict is just so good.

trimax #13: RAZLO COMEBACK LETS GOOO! oh how I've missed you silly man.. the livio razlo elendira fight was actually so much fun. the quick memory panels of wolfwood and of razlo and vash after seeing that vial drop in the middle of the fight were so good. god and when livio asks for razlo's forgiveness.. I almost cried it's just all so beautifully done. razlo deserves so much love and care he cares so much. About livio. and his ness friends. Having someone to protect. this volume was dedicated for razlo lovers and I'm so glad nightow did this for Me. Personally.

trimax #14: god i don't have the energy to write out my full thoughts on this but. what a perfect manga series. seriously. the ending was perfect. vash is perfect. knives. perfect. everything. so good. perhaps i'll be more coherent with this later but i can't wait for some time to pass so i can reread this again.

# animanga
x

date: jun. 23rd 2023

status: completed

shiver by junji ito

i don't have many thoughts on this but i enjoy junji ito's horror stories. the edition i had included a couple bonus pages of his notes after each chapter, and i thought it was cool to see the beginning stages of each of these stories. my personal favorite was the one with the puppet masters being controlled by the puppets. the evil french puppet had such a fun energy to him and i loved how everyone was lured into being controlled by little strings. i think if it were me i'd willingly join in. and then die, obviously. i was not made to be a surviving horror series character.

# animanga
x

date: jun. 21st 2023

status: completed

trigun by Yasuhiro Nightow

after watching the new trigun stampede anime, i was really excited to start reading the manga it was based off of because i couldn't get enough of vash, wolfwood, meryl... and i am especially looking forward to more livio/razlo content too. one of my friends is reading it and i'm catching up so we can chat about our favorite sillies. i love the slight difference in characterization of vash in the manga. i'm sure it's probably just because this is the beginning of his story, but i love how silly he is in trigun! there was a moment where he meets this kid, buys his Obviously Fake Sob Story, feeds him, and then jumps into an existential crisis monolgoue about if humankind really deserve to live on such a planet. it's moments like these that have me thinking that him and wolfwood really do just Get each other. freaks who ride on the same wavelength. i also love that meryl and millie are gay in this. and that they adopted a cat together. i would love a bonus chapter (or two... or three or four) of those two engaging in silly mundane antics i think it would be so fun to see them in some low stakes situations. i was not expecting their dynanic to be explored so much in this part of the series, but i'm so glad it was. i tend to get very attached to characters that value Family as much as millie does, and being able to see her aggressively fight for her values was really fun. for such a silly seeming gal she has a lot of depth to her that i appreciate. so excited to read more!

after reading volume 2 of trigun, I have to say I really like Wolfwood's characterization in the manga! Compared to the anime, he's way more queer! And a lot more giddy and charming while still having 0 social skills. It's a really fun side to him I didn't expect but love very much. I am interested to see how his dynamic with zazie & co. unfolds given how insanely quick Wolfwood has taken a liking to Vash after speaking to him for about three minutes. even I was taken aback by the “So you can smile… You always smile so cheerfully but it's so empty. I can see you hurting.” Immediately followed by Vash asking him out on a date. There's so much homoeroticism between vashwood in the manga already and I've barely even started. I'm hoping season 2 of the anime picks up on these elements because I really do love their dynamic so much more now that I've read the manga. one last moment that stood out to me was in their last fight, where this rich girl is held hostage and she finds out her dad killed people and stole land for her to live the life she has.... and Vash hits her with “I don't think you're stupid enough to ignore those on whom your life was built?” Which is just such a great line. It made me take Vash a little more seriously (when I put my media analysis hat on) because I really wasn't resonating with the sacrificial vibes he had going on in the anime and the beginning of the manga. While I don't care what happens to that rich girl I am so looking forward to seeing how these thoughts grow along with Vash in Trigun Maximum!

# animanga
x

date: jun. 18th 2023

status: completed

no. 6 (anime)

(rip to shion's face that got lost during the dithering process, lol) i re-watched this with my friend lola for the first time in years, and i fell in love with the series all over again. it's so unfortunate that you can't find this on any mainstream streaming platform.... you really have to know a guy who knows a guy to get your hands on this beautiful show. the main cast are such a lovable group of characters you really can't help but fall for every single one of them. i usually don't tend to enjoy the naive sheltered type, but shion is written in such a way that balances his privileged upbringing with these new truth of reality that nezumi sort of introduces him to. that was a werid way of saying what i meant but i'm too tired to be as thorough for this entry. i really love the political undertones to this story i thought it was a very well-done critique on capitalist and colonial power structures. the first and second time i watched this, i gave it a perfect 5 stars, but after this re-watch i was wondering with my friend if this had a manga series it was based off, and after quickly reading through the last few chapters we realized there was so much important content and a pretty big change in story that wasn't included in the anime. that alone made me knock it a point because i feel like the things that were missing from the anime were pretty important to the overall story and gave it more weight. so i was sad to see them fumble on that one. i do plan to read the manga from start to finish and pour over that more in-depth, so you'll probably see an entry later on the manga. overall i still have lots of love for no. 6, and i'm so excited to see how the manga differs from the anime...

# animanga
x

date: jun. 16th 2023

status: completed

trigun stampede

i just watched the last episode of trigun stampede and i'm currently feeling LOTS of emotions as i prepare to word vomit my thoughts on here (as i always do). this one has been especially popular lately.. i don't usually like watching shows that i'm seeing all over my twitter timeline because i hate having expectations for things, but trigun wiggled it's way out of every expectation in a way that was actually fun.

despite the first three episodes being a bit slow for me to get through, i was really drawn into the religious tones to the show. i am a sucker for characters that ramble incoherently about God which is what made Wolfwood end up one of my favorite characters from this series. he was my First favorite because of his character design and the fact that his introduction consisted of a) getting hit by a truck b) pretending to be a priest for Who knows why and c) "no matter how big of a cross you carry you still deserve to eat and to smile" which. is really insane. this man lives his life interacting with people while having absolutely no emotional intelligence and i think that's really enjoyable. i always love the freaks that make it clear they have absolutely no idea how to behave like a human being and have no intentions of starting now. this is wolfwood and i love it.

i wasn't hooked on the show until the wolfwood and livio childhood flashback episode (i think it was 6?). that was honestly probably the most brilliantly written flashback episode i have ever seen. the change in animation style and the lack of dialogue gave the memories such a raw feeling to them i think it is such a perfect way to make me care so much about a character who lives and dies in the same episode and also give so much emotional (?) depth to wolfwood in such a short amount of time and still make it meaningful. i loved it i love livio and i hope we somehow get more of him in the manga and/or in season 2...

i think my favorite part was how season one ended. i think during the last three episodes is when i really started to get what was going on between knives and vash and that's how i really fell in love with millions knives. what a fucking whack-job! i love him because there were so many instances throughout the series where i thought he almost had something going for him ideologically, in terms of human exploitation and liberation and things of that sort. it seems all he really wants is for vash to be by his side but he's just doing such a godawful job at convincing him to join his fight. nai so badly wants both worlds but has no actual plan to execute this. he really just thinks he can do whatever he wants and that vash will just follow along... because they are brothers. he is so out of touch, these type of guys are my favorite characters because it's so much fun to explore their fucked up thought processes. like. it's great that knives thinks manipulating vash's memories and decapitating the memory of his beloved mother is A Great Bonding Moment Actually. the fact that this actually makes sense to knives is so endearing. while none of his reasoning actually make sense, he clearly has put so much thought into why he does the things that he does and for his. i adore him.

what really got me was the final episode... the fight between vash and knives. i was already starting to get emotional about the army unloading their entire arsenal on vash while he's trying to protect them all... and im thinking wow this feels very biblical (i have not read the bible but im thinking i probably should at this point). then i'm hit with vash's single busted up angel wing and the whole thing starts feeling really sad. only to get hit AGAIN with knives pulling up with a busted up angel wing on the other side, so it's like if two halves made a whole and that really got to me. the fight was miserable from start to finish because they both were just desperately clawing at the other hoping that what they wanted in each other would reveal itself only for it to Not. i loved it because it was so... unproductive. it was so beautiful but so heartbreaking to see these two brothers who clearly still love each other but want the other to be something they're not. i live for fucked up family dynamics and especially when the family is as tight-knit as these twins. for them to have been so close but fall on opposite extremes of the spectrum of morality and humanity was so good. by that i mean i see vash as way too optimistic about humanity (he really does feel like an Angel at the end) that it costs him his own self-worth and sense of self. whereas nai is so pessimistic he just wants to kill god. a fallen angel perhaps.

i thought this series was really well done... so good that in fact i Will be starting the manga immediately after because my friend Cloud tells me we get more of some favorite characters of mine. so i am very much looking forward to that.

# comic
x

date: jun. 12th 2023

status: completed

spider-man & venom: double trouble

stopped by the comic place on my way home from work today to pick up some spider-punk issues and i also randomly picked this out alongside it because the cover looked fun. i have seen this venom guy before but i haven't seen his movie or know anything else about him. so this right here is my first introduction to venom as a character and boy was it a great one. i'm sure venom is a much scarier villain when he's in more dramatic and intense situations but this super chill and funny setting was the Perfect way to introduce his character to me. i fell in love with the art style so fast and i felt it was so fitting for this kind of story. spidey and venom being roommates was so funny but also so cute and wholesome. i loved that they were actually friends. and gay. even though venom doesn't pay rent eats all his food and says things like "honey, i'm home!" spidey never kicks him out. which i think is really sweet. this also happened to be the most transgender work of fiction i've read in so long. and i'm being so serious. venom swapping bodies with spider-man so he can participate in what is essentially american ninja warrior because that is the only way he'd be allowed to do that. and the fact that moving around in spider-man's body came so naturally to him? he was so smooth and it felt natural to him meanwhile the spider-man in venom's body was clumsy and Struggling the whole time. that says a lot i think. the second body swap with the squirrel and the cat (which venom actually keeps as a pet...) was unexpected and so cute i loved every moment. seriously i can't think of anything bad to say about these issues i loved them so much. i love making mundane aus of any sort of intense dramatic story and these guys did all the work for me and wrapped it up in a beautiful fully colored package. it was amazing! i can't wait to read the rest of the spider-man comics i bought...

# film
x

date: jun. 8th 2023

status: completed

spider-man: across the spider-verse

i watched into the spider-verse when it first came out in theaters a few years ago, and i loved it a lot. i watched this one last night in theaters again. i got home and immediately found it online for free and watched it again because WOW. and today i just watched it for a third time with my friend. i guess you could say i loved this movie a lot... the animation was absolutely BEAUTIFUL i loved reading a few tweets here and there about how they animated hobie brown in particular (one of my favorites). i won't talk too much on the animation aspect because i don't know much about Animation but just know from my humble perspective it was SPECTACULAR. i loved the first half of the movie so much it was honestly perfect. i feel like i can't say much on the second half of the movie because all the thoughts i have right now rely on what happens in the second movie. i don't know anything about original spider-man lore so i am feeling a little behind.... but i am so invested and i've been so obsessed with this movie for the past 24 hours i feel like i should pick up the comics so i actually know what the fuck i'm talking about, you know?

(please take this with a grain of salt) but my thoughts so far on the movie are that i've read it in two ways. the first way (which i think is the main reading because i got this from my friend who knows a lot more about spider-man than i do, and this resonated with me the most) is that this movie is a commentary on the spider-man story itself, and how the writers and fan are so obsessed with this Canon storyline that the more you try to force characters into, the more watered down the character and story becomes. and miles our shining star is the spider-man that breaks the canon by doing what spider-man is supposed to do, save everyone. which contrasts miguel & co.'s insistence on sacrificing the few to save the many.. and miles breaking that canon is allowing for spider-man himself to have a more developed character and be more true to himself. regardless of whether that's right or not that's what i've gathered from it. and i like that.... idk i am feeling so nervous talking about spider-man like this because.... i hate being wrong about things and i know the chances are high because i haven't read the comics yet and since this movie is all about that i could be missing something huge... but whatever

oh i also wanted to add my thoughts following this on why gwen and peter were so awful to miles during this movie. not writing wise, as in they were awful friends to him. this may or may not be a hot take, i haven't seen anybody talk about this besides the 1am conversation i had with my friend lola on this. i think the way gwen and peter treated miles during the movie (leaving him out of spidey hq, standing there and doing nothing while miguel was beating the shit out miles, turning against him when he was forced to accept his dad's death) served to draw that distinction between characters who are "stuck" in the canon (gwen, peter, all the other spider-people) and those who break that canon (miles) (and also in a way, hobie and margo. i'll come back to these two later). what stood out to me was how hobie and margo both did more for miles than gwen and peter did in the whole movie, by teaching him to use his palms and by letting him go home. whereas gwen peter and miguel were all so hellbent on trying to morph miles into the spider-man they think he should be, the one that they believe is the true "canon" spider-man. which is not who he is! so i really liked that.

i don't think this alternative reading was intended but a lot of the scenes between miguel peter and miles about the sacrifices they must make and the pain they must endure made me think of generational trauma and cycles of harm. we saw jessica drew say things like "i made that mistake too, but i got over it" and miguel insisting that because he and all the other spider-people went through the trauma and pain of losing their dad, so did miles. and they sort of force this on him. to which miles points out how fucked up that is! instead of fighting for a universe where one spider-man doesn't have to go through that (which is actually exactly what miles does with pavitr! by saving that captain guy he not only breaks the Canon but he breaks that cycle of pain that every spider-man seems doomed to experience.. but pav is spared from that because of miles saving everyone), those guys continue that cycle of pain because it's the Canon... that "i went through this so you have to too" attitude made me think of the kinds of dynamics that occur between generations in families, which i thought was fun. i just wanted to write that down.

maybe i'll come back to this and add or edit stuff if i'm atrociously wrong about something after i read the comics and watch the next movie. that cliffhanger was insane and i can't believe they actually did that. i want to have complete thoughts on this incredible movie but it's hard when this is only half the story we started off with, so...

# tv
x

date: jun. 1st 2023

status: completed

the bear

THIS IS SUCH A GREAT SHOW. i originally saw a video edit a year ago with this guy yelling at everybody, and i loved this actor in shameless so my interest was piqued. however i could Not for the life of me find that edit again or the name of the show until 2 days ago, when i finally found it and binged the whole thing in 2 days. me personally, i LOVE getting emotionally manipulated by tv shows. and boy did this show play with my feelings like a fiddle! the bear does such a great job at building tension and making me feel like having a panic attack alongside carmen and dispelling it just like that. that was a poor attempt at explaining what i mean but whatever. i actually adore the whole cast. i'm serious when i say every single character (at the restaurant) is my favorite. the dialogue is so funny but when it gets real it gets real. and they do such a good job with making sure there's a balance. i am so excited for season 2 which is supposed to be coming soon. i need 5 seasons of this show at least i'm SO invested. and i'm dying to know what this BEAR means on a wider scale. it's only appeared in the first and last episode of season one and we learn that both carmen and his dead brother were called Bear....... i'm so interested i need more content to be able to have any real theories of whatever this bear really means besides the bear = carmen's issues. i just!!! so much joy and love in my heart for this show and everyone in it. season 2 soon!!!!!!!!

update 10/9: i just realized i forgot to update this entry after watching season 2. it's keeping it's 5 stars this season was incredible. richie quickly moving up to be one of my favorite characters of all time, his arc this season was beautiful. i loved seeing sydney slowly lose her mind in the background of this season, and i can only hope this means she will be the focus for the next season. such an incredible series.

# tv
x

date: may 29th 2023

status: completed

succession

i feel like i'm definitely going to have to come back to this when i am more able to put my thoughts into better words. friends have been begging me to start succession for a year now but looking at this cover photo i really did not think i would like it..... i don't usually watch these business-y type shows, i just don't care for them. but BOY was i WRONG about succession. immediately, the first episode hooked me. i think what first drew me in was the funny dialogue and how the siblings acted like literal children. the contrast between how much power they hold and how they were literally tackling each other over something stupid was something i really enjoyed. the show is SO well done, from a technical standpoint. it seems like they had the CASH for this show and it paid off. i am a sucker for fucked up family dynamics and the roy family...... chefs KISS. most fucked up family i've seen on tv in a while. the ending was GREAT and so SATISFYING god i wish i had to words to express the feeling in my chest right now.... it was just so good and i'm so glad i finally watched it. i cant wait for when enough time has past so i can rewatch it again.

# film
x

date: may 27th 2023

status: completed

star wars: episode iv

yes this is my first time watching star wars as well. i'm really not much of a movie guy i tend to enjoy tv shows more often... but here i am. i'm not sure why i keep putting myself through this. anyways i also Surprisingly enjoyed star wars (episode 4) a LOT. the INCREDIBLE special effects aside, i love Mr. Solo. he..... stole my heart. what a guy! my favorite characters in order are: those little cloaked creatures that make little kjsdfghdvhjkweti noises, artoo & threepio, and han solo. i don't care much for luke and leia sorry. glad they got to have their romance moment though. i want to watch the rest but i know it will take me a while because even though i did LOVE this movie, i'm just not a movie guy...... so this will just be a long term project.

# literature
x

date: may 5th 2023

status: completed

frankenstein by mary shelly

i just finished volume one of frankenstien, and will update when i finish the rest. i was not expecting to love this as much as i do, and i am so... so in love with this story! here's a ramble of my thoughts so far: while i've only gotten a small glimpse of Walton so far, i do love that he is very much head over heals for Victor the moment they met. they do have so much in common! especially in the way they both adore their sisters. i hope the next volume has more letters from him i would like to know more about what he's like. victor is my favorite! well to be quite honest they're all my favorites right now (walton victor elizabeth justine.. the parallels).

i'm not sure if it's meant to be funny but I did want to laugh over how quick and dramatic victor's shift was once he Created the creature. i found the "His limbs were in proportion, and I had selected his features as beautiful. Beautiful! Great God!" immediately followed by "A mummy again endued with animation could not be so hideous as that wretch." "...it became a thing such as even Dante could not have conceived" fucking hilarious. i do feel really bad for the creature like he didn't even do anything to be hated so much by his own Mother!!! speaking of. i am of the belief that Victor is a mother suffering from severe post-partum psychosis and depression. that's why he's like that. and says those things. i also really enjoyed his relationship with his Dear Friend Clerval i think they have something really special going on. there's this one excerpt is one of my favorites so far of the book:

but Clerval called forth the better feelings of my heart; he again taught me to love the aspect of nature, and the cheerful faces of children. Excellent friend! how sincerely you did love me, and endeavour to elevate my mind until it was on a level with your own. A selfish pursuit had cramped and narrowed me, until your gentleness and affection warmed and opened my senses;

i hope nothing bad happens to them... i say this because i feel like as long as Victor keeps his secret and lets his abandoned creation run off.. it seems more bad things will happen. Victor is kind of a wuss but i still like him ♡ my favorite queer irresponsible bastard. my last thoughts for now are that i think justine and elizabeth should have kissed before justine died (i love them) i really liked the "Thus the poor sufferer tried to comfort others and herself." and how those exact words were used to describe Elizabeth masking her own grief for the sake of keeping her family happy. they both just get each other so much. and don't get me started on Elizabeth's last words to her... truly a miserable world it would be without Justine...

volume 2 update: I've been speeding through this so fast (I'm just so into this) I forgot to take a moment after finishing volume 2 to write about it... so this will be a shorter entry than the first. until i get inspired and want to write more about it later.

Victor is really starting to piss me off! Stand up! He is being very woe is me right now, but I will say some of (all of, if we're being serious) these lines are just so beautiful. "Thus not the tenderness of friendship, nor the beauty of earth, nor of heaven, could redeem my soul from woe: the very accents of love were ineffectual." I really liked that one. It's especially interesting considering how Victor desperately tries to ease his soul and find crumbs of happiness when he's surrounded by nature, but even that won't work now. Victor reminds me of all the miserable whiny depressed narrators / main characters in some other things I've read (reminding me a lot of the unnamed narrator from Season of Migration to the North by Tayeb Salih right now). If he thinks he's miserable, wait til he hears the creature's lived experiences!

I was seriously almost brought to tears twice while reading the creature's story on the train it was so devastating. The creature is literally just a little guy. If Victor hadn't been such a bully and shown him kindness literally none of this would have happened but whatever man. #Don'tJudge. What I love is that the creature has enough reasons right now to be truly evil and kill everyone but he's STILL giving Victor a chance to redeem all of humanity and give him a Frankenshorty. All he wants is companionship and Victor won't even give him that! Who is the real agent of evil and cruelty? I am going to be such a nerd about this and say this part of the creature's dialogue when he says:

'You are in the wrong,' replied the fiend; 'and, instead of threatening, I am content to reason with you. I am malicious because I am miserable. Am I not shunned and hated by all mankind? You, my creator, would tear me to pieces, and triumph; remember that, and tell me why I should pity man more than he pities me? You would not call it murder, if you could precipitate me into one of those ice-rifts, and destroy my frame, the work of your own hands.'

really reminded me of Meruem's dialogue with Netero in Hunter X Hunter... it was definitely inspired by this it had to have been. Maybe! I can't help but make connections like these. I personally believe Victor should suffer more! I am glad the stars and the heavens that once comforted him now mock him forever! I'll maybe come back with a more thoughtful analysis if I am feeling upto it, there is a lot to be said about responsibility, care, and community from this text, and I'm excited to read the last volume and see how this all ends.

volume 3 update / final thoughts: i'm keeping this one shorter because i am on the train and don't feel like writing a lot about this right now but. i loved this book so much. i already want to reread it. the Creature's last words really touched my heart i'm still in awe over how beautifully this was all written... "You hate me, but your abhorrence cannot equal that with which I regard myself"... "My spirit will sleep in peace, or if it thinks, it will not surely think thus. Farewell."... absolutely beautifully devastating. this is going on my Hall Of Fame of books, it's that good. I'm so glad i read this..

# comic
x

date: apr. 24th 2023

status: completed

the sucker by elle shivers

Wah! I am so glad I impulse bought this comic from one of my favorite artists. They draw a lot of fanart that I adore, so I was so psyched to see they have their own works published as well! The Sucker was such a beautiful read, beautifully, literarily, in all the ways. I loved the tense dynamic between the two main friends (EJ and Dani, I believe) the most. Getting those glimpses of their past when they swam together and seeing the way they sort of left off, only to reunite again with all those Complicated feelings about each other really touched me! My chest is full of feelings I can't really explain right now, I just know that it's a good thing. I am truly obsessed with this and I am so glad I got the opportunity to read such a tale. I totally recommend this to literally everyone (and you can click on the cover image to be directed to their site to buy the book)! ♡

# tv
x

date: apr. 20th 2023

status: completed

abbott elementary

i don't ever seek out a comedy show because i just don't find them that funny but abbott elementary is the exceptional exception. this show is hilarious! every single episode has me a-kekekeing and heheheing (ノ≧∀≦)ノ my favorite duo is barbara and melissa, but the character who makes me laugh the most is definitely ava. i love that it's in a school setting too, since i am thinking about becoming a teacher maybe... mimimimi. making as completed cause the first season is over, but I'm so excited to see what next season will bring.

# tv
x

date: apr. 15th 2023

status: completed

DARK

i love tv shows that function as if they are puzzles. DARK is so different from all the other time travel shows i've seen, and they play with the concept in such a unique way! it's a bit tragic but also perfect in a way. the writing is incredible, especially in the first two seasons and I truly appreciate how the ending of the series wraps up so nicely. because it's one of those shows where Everything Matters and all the details Mean Something i'm sure I missed a lot, but that's okay. This is a show that was made to be re-watched so I'm excited to do that later on. the casting for this show is actually insanely good. the directors must have sold their souls to find other actors who looked so much like each other to play their older/younger selves. it's really impressive. almost scary. the soundtrack is really great too, i've added Irgendwie Irgendwo Irgendwann by NENA to my own playlist. i will say that i enjoyed season 3 a lot less than i did the rest. i wouldn't say it's bad or lacking in quality compared to the first two seasons, i ust personally couldn't get into the new World concept. i think the show was already so dense (I liked that) but this new layer was just too much for my little brain. but again, i don't think it was like worse than the others. the writing was just as good and the ending was also nice neat and fitting. i loved it. it just took me forever to get through the last season..

# literature
x

date: mar. 26th 2023

status: completed

i'm glad my mom died by jennette mccurdy

i read this entire book in one sitting yesterday. i read along with the audiobook CDs i got after seeing jennette speak at my school a few weeks ago. i usually don't enjoy reading memoirs (they bore me) but this is the exception to that. my God was it the most beautifully written work i've read in a while. i simply could not put it down. it was so immersive and emotional (i did tear up a little towards the end...) but also so funny at times. her story is so important and resonated with me in ways i didn't think it would. i honestly think Anyone no matter what books they like to read would enjoy this. so much love in my heart for jennette i am so happy for her and how far she's come. her experiences with the Healing process is something i hold dear to my heart. ah! just such a good book.

# animanga
x

date: mar. 19th 2023

status: currently reading

blue lock

i had initially started reading this because i saw a lot of funny panels where the dialogue looked really silly, but i'm almost caught up now and i genuinely love this series. it's so very intense but the characters are all so loveable and crazy and i love all the portrayals of the different ways to love soccer. it's really fun. i'm probably misleading a few people by describing blue lock in such a wholesome way but it really is a sweet treat for me. my favorite players are shidou, rin, and isagi. and bachira too. but (more importantly) my favorite character dynamics are whatever rin and isagi & also shido and itoshi got going on. i just love it when it's the two characters that seem the most different that end up being the best matches for each other. it's also not that common i care so much about the main character but isagi i am rooting for you! you crazy little boy! いけ いけ いさぎ ! it's currently ongoing so i binge read this in chunks, but i really want to do a full reread when it's fully completed so i can truly enjoy the triumphs and defeats, the epic highs and lows of high school futbol.

# literature
x

date: mar. 25th 2023

status: completed

thistlefoot by gennarose nethercott

i impulsively bought this book during my last trip to my local bookstore because i was very curious about this house with chicken legs... it took me a while to get through the book because the pacing was too slow for me to stay hooked for too long. i considered putting it on pause and reading something else for a bit, but i am really glad i didn't do that. i loved the story it had to tell! i am a big fan of stories about stories and generational tales and this book was very much that. plus it was the first time reading a story based in Jewish folklore and I really loved it. isaac was my favorite character, and his past with benji was very fun to read about. i love the way the ending was told.. i'm really attached to that house. overall, a good read. i think i would have got through it sooner if i could listen along to the audiobook, but i couldn't find it anywhere for free...

# tv
x

date: mar. 18th 2023

status: completed

swarm

update (04-02-2023): a friend told me apparently it's not based on real events at all really and i was tricked by the internet again. i feel so silly but i'll keep up my insane little rant below because although my larger ideas might not apply to swarm anymore, i think i make good points in general. i feel strangely embarrassed but also its okay because who cares

i think Swarm was beautifully crafted and the acting was incredible. however. the more i think and talk about this show the more i am bothered by this strange feeling i have about what this show actually is. it's hard to describe but it feels a little lost in it's purpose. watching the show, it really feels like it's a fiction thriller show (despite it saying "this is not fiction" in the beginning of every episode), but it's not. now, i don't know much about the actual events this show is based on, but i know it is based on both real life events and rumors, calling itself Not Fiction. this really bothers me. i worry about what it means to take real life events and portray them in a way that feels? fictional? hm. i feel like i'm not doing a great job of expressing what i mean. this just didn't feel as serious as it was, i feel, supposed to be. when reading this show as a non-fiction piece, it feels like another one of those serial killer documentary that glamorizes and makes a spectacle of real killers. which is not great. it also makes me feel weird as a viewer, enjoying what feels like a fun Fictional thriller, and then remembering that this is not fictional and real people were hurt by these events. this is the biggest issue i have with the show, and this exactly is also what makes its commentary on stan culture feel really shallow. now, if this was indeed fiction, i wouldn't mind the shallow commentary because this show doesn't feel like it was that serious to begin with. it's really artistic and beautiful and emotionally engaging and visually appealing, but i think it was missing the more serious undertones it needs. like, those serial killer documentaries are documentaries, so (despite those shows being terrible and incredibly harmful) at least you would know what you're going into before you start watching.

maybe i'm totally wrong and stupid about this. but i just think this kind of uncertainty? whatever the missing piece is here that's bugging me so much.. is really important to have and without it i feel like it can send weird messages to viewers who are struggling enough with media literacy today. idk man.... the implications are weird. i feel weird!

# tv
x

date: mar. 13th 2023

status: completed

the last of us (season 1)

after watching the entire first season what i have to say is: man this show is just so beautifully written. and amazingly produced. i think the scene in the season finale where joel is killing everyone in the hospital but the audio is muffled almost like you're putting your hands over your ears was so powerful to me. chefs kiss absolutely brilliant. that will stick with me forever. the worldbuilding is just so cool. i've been seeing side by side comparisons of the show and the game and i am so impressed by how true to the source material they are. i haven't played the games but i know many who have and they all have told me that even though they know what will happen they are still hooked and excited to see what each episode brings. i love joel ellie so much. best duo to ever duo.

# film
x

date: mar. 11th 2023

status: completed

every single scream movie

i have taken it upon myself to watch every single scream movie in a row, and i will compile my little Thoughts all into one post because having 6 boxes on SCREAM feels insane. plus i don't think i'll have much to say on each individual one. we'll see though.

(3/8/23) scream 1: loved it. too many breaking 4th wall jokes about Horror Movie Structure but the scene where that nerd guy was like "behind you!" and the freaks in the van were watching him and screaming "behind you!" was really funny.

(3/10/23) scream 2: i see that the fourth wall thing is a Bit now. i get it. it's fun i do enjoy it now a lot more. i started to get bored halfway though because i just don't care about dewey and Monica (who i know is not actually named monica). but then the end got exciting again. even though i wasn't a fan of the killers this time. felt like something was missing...

scream 3: what is sid's kill count at this point my god! they can't let her keep getting away with this!!!!

(3/11/23) scream 4: alright we're starting to pick up. better than 3, pretty good. i did get a little bored halfway through tho. again. i loved emma roberts though. i think i would have disliked this one a lot more without her performance. she carried!!!

scream 5: i think this one might be my favorite so far. i suddenly care more about dewey and monica now. i've started to love the movie structure monologues they do every time it makes me feel like i'm taking film 101. amber has been my favorite killer so far besides the originals i'd say. the fact that it's all in the same house is a detail i loved. ugh! everything was done so much better.

scream 6: an incredible movie!!! i'm so glad i got to see this one in theaters. i absolutely love the killers in this one, the acting was incredible and tbh i supported them! i'll be vague to avoid spoilers since this one is so new, but ahh!!! the twist?! so good. i totally didn't see you-know-who coming back. and then the thing!!! and then he made it!!!!! wow. haha. 5/5. my official ranking as of my Feelings right now are 1, 4+5 all tied for first. then its 4, 2, and then 3. what a great franchise.scream7 now!!!!!!!!!!

# animanga
x

date: mar. 6th 2023

status: completed

cardcaptor sakura

i love how adorable this show is. i did enjoy the first season a lot more than the second. especially towards the end with the yue Development and also just getting more growth out of sakura and li. i feel like the pacing was just more to my liking than it was in the second season. but!! i didn't dislike season 2 or anything, it's super cute and i am living for all the yukino and tomoya moments... (the best part of the entire series tbh) they mean so much to me (´。• ω •。`) ♡